do you think it would be thrilling or chill or would leave some kind of experience

?

idk if I could make a game I’m not sure what I have to say to people

I went to a talk on horror in anime at an anime con and I really liked it, the stories and themes were really real and human. I’ve been meaning to watch the media suggested, I never was into horror, but I get it more now, it seems like one of the genres which talks about human experience most

>>184533
definitely!

do you think if you show solutions to the horrors of the world it becomes adventure? my impulse is ‘oooh don’t talk about problems without solutions-you’ll depress people’ but that doesn’t feel right

sometimes terrible things happen and there isn’t some great battle to be fought

>>184539
yeah I think so too

there was one story about a woman caring for a cat and getting raped and killed by a lord and the cat transforming and killing all of them and wandering off into the night… and I liked that one

>>184540
#schizotransvert

>>184547
whoa what

yeah it was a really cool talk on Japanese monsters and horror stories

kitsune are part of that envelope I think of the cat creatures

I asked for the power point after and she sent it to me

yeah! she’s a great story teller too really nice lady I was kinda tearing up but also emotional lol. i guess i could convert it to pdf and upload it here- idk how it is without her telling it

cool : D

I probably need to get out of bed huh?

#itsover (211)

xD

into my head popped up like an rpg where you get to know great characters who are cool and can be upgraded and they just die horribly and all the npcs act like it’s totally normal mbe and like idk you’re denied your game- idk more just bad experiences generally

game of hallways where you walk slowly past the doors and all the noise coming from inside of them stops abruptly as you cross the vision threshold

>>184564
never played it I’m a plebeian xD

keep cooking!!! I’m being quiet cause I don’t have ideas rn oooh andshould look for the email

>>184574
#reply explain this

frank reynolds from "it's always sunny in philadelphia" is a chaotic, self-serving character who often uses manipulative tactics to get what he wants. mac, his son in the show, is insecure but also tries to assert dominance and masculinity. their dynamic is a mix of manipulation, codependency, and absurdity—frank pretends to care or uses mac's need for validation to control him, while mac tries to impress frank but often fails. they sorta understand each other in a messed-up way, but neither is ever truly honest or empathetic. it's a trainwreck you can't look away from. explain this

lol

faye what is gender dysphoria in your eyes anyway
like , how would you describe it ig
its hard to visualize for me

wow that’s really potent, emotional, human. I’m not sure the word

beautiful romance game where in the end the mc was dreaming and watches the love interest walk off

I don’t know if that would be worth making or has been done

😭

oooh could do one where like you fight bad guys to get to the freedom or smth and you get there and you’re one of the weak ‘bad guys’ to have happiness and can technically win but you’re facing your former character types which are massively stronger than you

eh idk

idk if it relates to gender dysphoria specifically but my stuff always felt like
this sense that i am an intruder
like i am not welcome in spaces even where it's just me

>>184586
haha a story driven game which ignores your dialogue choices and character selection part of the time

>>184597
real

i had a girlfriend in high school say something like
sexually charged to me and it made me feel so off
it was kind of violent and i just felt ?????????????????

I remember reading Maus and feeling very represented by the dad and my friend saying ‘wow that’s you’ when he read it

>>184602
deltarune

>>184605

>>184601
mmmm I remember when my friends started masturbating in middle school and were talking in the cafeteria and I just felt like an outsider and grossed out and weird even though I’m relatively horny and support ppl now and all. idk. I’m not even really trans or anything just an outsider sometimes idk

>>184607
YEP

>>184607
idk anon
you are the company you keep

awww thanks <3

oh thank you for having that experience too!

idk I have no body dysphoria but I really feel like i fit the trans personalities or certain personalities I meet in the trans community, but I’ve not fit into cis women communities and got rejected when I tried to make friends in the past

>>184614
you are engaging in conversations about gender dysphoria on the worlds premier transgender livetyping imageboard

I’m culturally trans

but even here somewhat of an outsider. but it’s better than not

I’d feel guilty for pressing it. women get oppressed and have periods and make less money. it would be wrong.

>>184620
no need to answer if its not your cup of tea
but jw , what is your current ident ?

I mean I’d like to live in a world where i could meaningfully be nonbinary but I’m a weird male with most of the traits which come with it

>>184622
with this and your previous response
it seems a lot of your hangups have to do with the external world
which is something i feel pretty constantly even X years into it

idk my mom is pretty bitter about the experiences she’s had to go through from being a woman even just physically. I wish I were a trans woman with trans woman friends because I like them and their culture and mindset, or a part of them, but I also fear it for its costs, and I wouldn’t want to be a cis woman.

>>184624
there isnt really a single person that wont be bitter about some aspect of their 'hand dealt' yknow
it really does come down to a point where you decide if it's worth it i think to kind of live in the lie

you’re fine I’m playing into this conversation willingly

>>184627
if you think you can play a good method actor for the rest of your life due to simple fears then i have bad news in general

>>184627
I almost feel like it’s all a lie, everyone’s identity. idk half formed thought.

>>184633
i think i get it , honestly

>>184632
I really hope it keeps getting better

>>184633
realistically
if that is true then it kind of furthers the points to the contrary
like , if it means nothing and everyone is playing for funsies
why bother

>>184642
#halt

>>184645
#ksay boo gory weeweeewee

I remember being a kid and thinking ‘when do I get my turn’ and feeling like I was just playing a role, but I never had a feeling of what or where there was a real me. I liked meowing at my friends in middle school and got told to stop so I did, I like the conversations I have with trans people, I like flirting and the idea of being a parent, but being a woman, eh, I’ve had experiences with them which make me feel bitter and like they’re bad, and I’ve had experiences where I’ve seen bad things happen to them, and like something terrible would happen to me. I would like to be equals with my trans friends who they can trust not to be a crazy incel loser guy, and who can be cute and all together, but I remember my sister taking pleasure in emasculating me and I don’t want her to win or to be like her, and I like the energy in boys sometimes when they’re really passionate about things, and I’d like to be like that. and I see it in trans women too but most cis women I’ve met have been lifeless- in part to protect themselves from me- some weird guy, but also idk I don’t know any who really achieved any beautiful dreams, and I don’t want to be hit on by guys or be weak and a burden, I want people to feel proud and happy and their burdens lightened from me, I guess I like that a lot about the male role when you can really fix things and be strong and responsible before the women go ‘haha we get men to do things for us’ which I dislike, I like people being equals and close , and men are frequently horrible too.

>>184652
>I've had experiences where I’ve seen bad things happen to them, and like something terrible would happen to me
its not like being trans is getting any easier as far as culture is concerned
but you just seem really sad anon

>>184667
<3 thanks idk
I appreciate being able to talk here. I hope you can too

>I like the energy in boys sometimes when they’re really passionate about things, and I’d like to be like that. and I see it in trans women too but most cis women I’ve met have been lifeless
it sounds like you're surrounded by people who will let you do that anyway
you don't get shoved into a box if you experiment w/ your gender identity
for the record i dont wish to push you into anything i hope i dont come across that way
i just dont want you to feel sad

>>184659
yeah that’s my gender is sad and negative

No you’re fine. I’ve thought about this in jumbled ways for a while and I’m not easily influenced on it for better or worse

>>184672
i sincerely hope that whatever conclusions you come to in your life bring you to a point where like
you are honoring yourself yknow

>>184673
its a sad thing to condemn yourself on the basis of some overbearing external stuff
the internal self can only compress so much

idk I never really saw a future for myself, I remember riding the bus and thinking yeah one day I’ll have a job then retire and die and it’ll be over, this is kinda dumb, but there wasn’t a spark of light, I didn’t belong with the boys and I didn’t belong with the girls. I remember in Sunday school the girls were debating about Edward vs Jacob and it was excited to give my ideas but was told ‘that’s a girl thing’ but I also wanted to ride dirt bikes with my cousin when he offered and I said no because I was scared I’d fall and cry and humiliate myself and the women in my life would chuckle as my betters and the men would silently not want to do with me. I don’t think there’s a trans life or cis life really waiting for me that’s my real self.

oh dear ...

>'was told thats a girl thing'
i remember feeling crushed at those moments honestly
that happened to me
i eventually withdrew socially and just didn't engage with anything anymore

yeah :< being belittled and made to feel like what you like doesn’t matter is really crushing

but I like science fiction and history sometimes and most cis women dismiss those, yes I fit in in the trans community but if no one else was trans, and I was suddenly a cis woman my life would probably be way worse

I would at that point share more of my interests with guys who would creep on me and be way less capable of making a difference or having personal power

the world hasn't been very nice to you has it
im sorry friend

<3 you’re very nice Malory. I grew up with money and only got spanked once but I never really went outside or got to have my life, but I haven’t been horribly traumatized like some people have been.

>>184686
its not a competition
its real to you

mmmm

yeah true.

alienation is traumatic to 99% of people

yeah fr

I guess I was excluded by men for not being into their mindset and excluded a lot by cis women , and now I find people like myself, but they’re all paying scary costs and changing their gender, and I’m not one of them unless I do it too. and I believe that too. it’s weird and uncomfortable as a trans woman to have a cis guy following you around and hanging out with you, particularly one without idk stable trustworthy traits, it’s just sad

>have a dream
>im at a party and a bunch of shit is going on but its irrelevant
>several women hit on me at the party
>theyre the only ones who aknowledge me as a women, all the men are being weird about it
this "tryinf to be straight" thing is not going very well wormies...

one of them said "wow i didnt realize there were cute girls at this party" when she saw me
t. not cute only kind of a girl

>>184692
>it’s weird and uncomfortable as a trans woman to have a cis guy following you around and hanging out with you
who is saying this

well every woman who complains of scary experiences with men. and from what I can see that stuff can be really scary, and it’s part of the reason women had to reject me when I tried to make friends in school, because eventually it may turn into ‘aaaaa let me have sex with you’

and I do like most women who are nice to me though I try to be gentlemanly (cringe word idk)

>>184696
oh dear you have a lot of bad assumptions about people and their feelings i feel
which , given the dynamic you had growing up i get
but i dont think this reflects reality

women are scary. men are scary. world is scary. other trans women are scary. trans men are scary. nonbinaries are scary. world is scary

i dnt like it

>>184698
this is a prison you're creating yourself

only onlines is safe

mmmmmmm

it’s also scarier to me to be a post menopausal woman than an old man

how they get ignored and how weak I’d feel

well. good news for you there champ, menopause is an opt-in experience for trans women

haha xD

you can just . decide not to

you also get to keep like one or the other
whatever privilege comes from being a cis man or transition
its one of the only cases in the world where such a shift of privilege is experienced in cis men i think

im in a gym class with a bunch of ~45-60 year old women and they talk about menopause a lot and i just want to scream "1 injection a week isnt that bad you get used to it!!" but i don't think that's my place lol

if it actually would help and there was a way to make it gentle and trustworthy that would be good

but idk

I don’t feel like the kind of masculinity I want or feminity I’d want is a real option.

I think it is nonny, you gotta stay hopeful

>>184713
even if you're right , you'll just rot away thinking about it instead of doing anything
acceptance is important

I’d grow breasts and get bullied even more and be thought of as even less capable and still be alone and a creep if I tried to find love

>>184718
real

>>184716
im not a therapist and this is veering into that territory
but in general you're writing that story , no one else
it's up to you if that's what life will be like

>>184716
well i dunno about the last part. could you really find love keeping such a big part of yourself a secret? would you gamble every time and tell them eventually and hope they were accepting? Or just never say anything and let it eat away at you? at least if you come out you get access to the small portion of society whos okay with us

>>184721
its not even that small a portion
a lot of people plainly dont care or dont mind
most people are nice
some are fervent shitbags

>>184722
nice, yes, accepting, yes, willing to date, i have to disagree

>>184723
oh i didnt really pick up that you were talking about dating my bad anon

oh that wasn’t me sry. I don’t really feel comfortable with cis women though and creepy with trans women and like something horrible would happen, possibly from him if I dated a guy. I e-dated one trans woman and I was good to her and she’s doing well and that makes me really happy. She’s still my friend and was encouraging me to date again actually.

>>184724
no worries lol

mmmmmmmm

and that’s what I get to be or transition and lose idk something

I have never been in a romantic relationship with another person.

How old are you transfemenine anonymous

*transfeminine

ok 3rd anon asking questions lll get a name

i gotta go for now but i hope life gets a little brighter for you anon
take care

I’m 25 and I’ve been trying to care about things and repeating college classes for 6 years

and I started early too 🥲I probably could have had an associates from taking classes while in high school at the community college but yeah I dropped out after sitting around alone 3 years of the first attempt and I’m finishing attempt 2 now but yeah I’m a little sad when I hear about people in college being themselves and having friends and having a future and all this shit

.play [YouTube]

>>184752
that’s awesome

<3 <3 <3

you’re a very nice anon #hug

mmmm if only my BS will be useful.

ur won’t be because I couldn’t focus enough to study so I got a major where I can bs through exams close to the one I wanted somewhat but God knows what I can do with it

and I just don’t care enough about extra curricular studying or shit I’m just tired

yeah it’s a good decision to make and if I ever become passionate it opens the door to do an advanced degree or smth too

>>184744
oooh what happened about #2?

I’m really glad you didn’t anon

I just feel ashamed towards suicide- ‘that’s something irresponsible people do you can’t do that you would be stupid.’ I don’t actually care that much though part of me idk is sad at things

>>184772
lol that’s rough. I feel like they shouldn’t have directed you towards that major or maybe even offer it if the outcomes are so bad

bleh that’s awful

>>184775
real I loved my dog so much

>>184774
#hug

I’ll definitely finish the degree

<3

>>184775
nothing like a cliff to make you jump

just learned that the scene in the barbie movie where she goes into that room in the mattel headquarters with the old lady is directly inspired by serial experiments lain

butt

was it good?

I’m reading about brain health and veganism

it’s nixed

mixed

>>184790
it is ?

nini

>>184799
#gug

my most toxic trait is that i can conjure up american stoner movie skits infinitely

>>184798
ye it's inspired by that scene where lain drinks tea w her dad in like episode 13 i think?

its been a long while , id have to go back and watch it
i dont feel like pulling it from my ftp rn

>>184803
it's on yt dingus, unless u mean the barbie movie then idk where to watch it

>>184804
oh no i meant lain

>>184805
it's on youtube dingus

>>184806
play it in the video player

.play [YouTube]

poor alice ...........

arisu

what if lain was a big cultural hit in the US when it came out and they had like a soda tie in
protocol seven-up

okay i think i remember now that im seeing the episode
her dad talks with her about how she was created

https://fauux.neocities.org/unbound

;_;

>>184819
#schizotransvert

>>184818
i remember this site, how do you even get invited

>>184821
never figured that out honestly

don't think anyone did , it could've just been a ruse from fauux

so many lovely worms wriggling around in the thread..... simply delightful

Friends are over for potluck shooting the shit while I get sleepy from one beer, concerned people won't finish the food I cooked and then randomly bored enough to retreat to solitary slashfic reading. Why the fuck am I male

let me believe im not malebrained just this once ok