>>397747
im not falling for that one again...

oooooh that sounds like a story :3

admittedly nothing special
one donut
one arizona tea

done nut

Did you kno that acording to topology a donut is the same as a coffe mug because they can be continuously transformed into each other but not the same as a sphere/ cup without a handle which u need to get rid of the hole

its the jumbo donut you can have some

.play the onion us condemned for pre emptive use

>>397749
that sad video with the girls who do heroin together.....'

Real

>>397762
straw is just a long donut if u imagine it

1

>>397765
human is a sphere unless u put ur hand on ur hip or smth

>>397756
fuck them funnyposter U gotta stand up for urself and if they call u a crazy bitch u probably are

>>397767
: O

I will threaten the genie

>>397769
chaser flag NOW

::hot dog

>>397760
hehe

>>397759
god I want that so much and am disgusted by and hate it

>>397779
:9

.play the onion israel

>>397779
i hope you are okay....

Thanks lain from the cartoon <3

I don't know what I can change. I try to impress people and I let them down and they don't call me a crazy bitch, more disgusting failure, and I just don't care about the future. I'm spoiled enough I live with my parents in my mid-20s and I try to study all the time and just go online and can't see any future.

Too bad they didn't overthrow El Salvador

>>397788
its up to you i think

>>397792
It is. fuck. all my ideas are 'develop this one huge technology' and I don't

I tried adderal for a lil and IDK I don't think I felt better

>>397795
I don't know where to get it and i don't wanna know

I still have a buncha pills left over maybe I could try different dosages without going too crazy

I still don't give a shit about my life most of the time though

amphetamines wont make you see the future probably ...

no they won't. I'm more awake while just wanting to wake up from this or get my duty in this world over with

>>397803
ah maybe this is the issue
you are task brained
'duty'

yeah, I'm mad at other people I see smiling and having fun and shit and I feel guilty any time I have fun because I know the world is getting worse and I do nothing for it. It's always back to the stress after I take a break, even if my mind is clear for a moment

>>397806
have you ever been part of a small team working on a little thing

I think so and I let them down and they were all disapointed

.play tall bart eeeeee

>>397809
did they say they were disappointed and let down

I guess I was on a team to do a competition in school and they didn't much like me and were glad I got us some points, and then didn't want me around when I started staying up all night and not practicing the next season. and I was part of 2 projects where I had individual work to do and in one the boss is really nice but doesn't expect much of me and we have never met face to face, and in another I'm scared they'll kick me out over politics which they fight with eachother about and they're really nice and pretty and cool and I'm simultaneously in love with them and scared of them and feel guilty I pretty much send them 'I did my individual work I hope you're well' and 'god I'm so sorry I can't do it this week' and 'i hope you're good I like you a lot I think you're really cool!!!!!!!' and then they send me ocationally 'you're doing really great and I'm excited to work with your part, it's ok, Please try not to let the bad thoughts win <3'

idk wth the context is really but it sounds like all the nice stuff is real and all the hyper negative stuff is your thoughts alone

yeah maybe. my therapist said that too.

definitely but like idk.
>>397819
definitely but also I wish they really really liked me and were excited about me and idk it's not enough ever though all my relationships are distant and online

yeah you're right but I'm going to hurt their feelings maybe actually saying my thoughts. and I've never gotten super close to people I don't think. I don't know if I can relax.

people will mistake the anxious distance as disinterest sometimes
idk if thats relevant but that gets me all the time

>>397822
#this

I don't know how creepy it is to DM people.

Well and I don't know if DMing people will help. They want me to be successful before they'll be my friend probably and I can't actually do real work

>>397826
i really doubt this

if they are this way they are not worth being friends with probably

anon is right about communication
groups love talking and working together
being amicable and communicative in a way that isn't obtuse is probably 80% of the task at hand
feeling like a team

a lot of the time I'm just feeling miserable and begging for attention and I don't think I get better at the end of it. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up and try to do work again and it won't go well. It never did alone really. I do well in class because I feel important and can pretend I'm talk

a lot of the time I'm just feeling miserable and begging for attention and I don't think I get better at the end of it. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up and try to do work again and it won't go well. It never did alone really. I do well in class because I feel important and can pretend I'm talking to the professor but whenever I was alone as a kid I either put my own work off or read fantasy novels and did it all at the last second

I probably will nonny ty. Last time I was there I just felt alone and stupid again though and frittered the time away. I do that at the school library too

once an old lady walked up to me at the public library and talked about how she couldn't be a doctor in her time and encouraged me and it was nice but then she left and it was back to the usual finding something to keep my mind off this

It does. I thought about trying to study in my car. I've tried that too. It didn't go well.

There was a brief period in late highschool where studying went really well for me. I used the carrols at the community college library and my hot car before class, which was new to me then. I wonder..
I did well too in the first few days of ROTC training on the base learning all the rank stuff before I went back to my dorm alone and couldn't sleep and dropped out

See I have spent a lot of time in libraries and though I intellectually think learning is the only way to make a better world which I have a duty to do I am so fucking sick of it and don't give a shit about my future at some level and I have to. I will go to a carrol with an objective tomorrow, and I'll work on the thing that's due maybe tomorrow morning, maybe tomorrow night IDK. But I probably will just be so fucking sick of it, and I don't think any recreation I do will make me feel better. I tried exercising and I got out of the pool, i still felt mentally exhausted. I briefly had an online relationship, I felt alive when we talked, I didn't want to let them down, I signed off, and I didn't care anymore, the adderal- the same story.

it seems a lot more existential

this is good nonny I'm very interested in what you have to say

I think suicide is super terrible and irresponsible but I'm just exhausted of this life. I'll never do anything against my life but never for it either in the last few years besides trying not to fail at the last moment

I've had a few people I've tried to read papers with but I couldn't do it on my own. yeah that would be so fuking amazing irl but my interests are pretty shameful and i don't think there is one

I still like reading what you've said

I want to cuddle with someone, I want to have children one day and help raise nice kids, I want to unite everyone's minds into a hive mind with technology (have online friends here but exhausted trying to work on it I want to paint my room's cieling blue and put cottonball clouds on it and wear a white toga in it and play a har

that cannot BE your SHAMEFUL INTERESTSS

thats so normal haha

sorry yeah im actually out of line my bad

I want to cuddle with someone, I want to have children one day and help raise nice kids, I want to unite everyone's minds into a hive mind with technology (have online friends here but exhausted trying to work on it.) I want to paint my room's cieling blue and put cottonball clouds on it and wear a white toga in it and play a harp and call it heaven, and I want to like go hiking maybe and sing fun songs the whole way about positive things, I want to not just be a weird guy who needs to be quiet, I want to read science fiction stories together and write each other poems, I have an online anon friend i send 'you're so cute uwu' messages and poems to each other back and forth but eh it feel fake lately. When I try to read or play games on my own I just feel sick and ashamed. I liked swimming under a local bridge my myself and sending some pics to an online friend but I have a feeling if I did it with irl friends I'd feel exhausted and like my time was wasted not working again. I want to be cheerful and creative and loved and build a nice world together and feel new things and feel adrenaline. I don't feel like I can sit still watching anime and I'm just a weird looking guy if I did cosplay or whatever. and I just have a feeling soon wherever I am they'll leave me or gang up on me. I like my funny posts I make online sometimes too I've made some funny posts on anon boards but like how do you share that. Oh I love to tell jokes and tall tales and stories too but I don't like TTRPGs because I just feel like firstly I'm wasting my time and secondly I'm so constrained to tell the story the system wants me to tell. God I've cared for dogs and felt numb after and in my head I'm going 'I just need physical touch and affection and people to laugh at what I say' but like I've had that briefly and just felt empty and been unable to do anything after. Oh I liked going into the woods to clean up trash and send pics to a friend and I liked volunteering at the local cemetary to plant a new bed of flowers but I don't feel like the community deserves it or like I'm doing enough. Oh! I liked testing different cleaning agents on some mold too and keeping a journal that was fun.

I'm also not that cute I also feel grossed out in 'woke' environments where I'm around women I feel distance and distrust towards and I feel sickened by antiwoke shit where It's cold and cruel, but I am brainwormed about the whole white birth rates or whatever and how none of my family have children and when I see people being happy sexually I feel despair that it's all ending and I can't have kids and I need to work harder but also disgust at kids put in a bad situation because of this kinda shit. So I feel ashamed being part of society and ashamed not being part of it.

wheres the anon who sent the rape DM

>>397862
im still probably jumping the gun but this is all really sweet
maybe the hive mind thing has some ethical problems but this is all fine ,?

davesprite are you having a manic episode by chance

>>397872
hmmmmmmm

i think inspirational fervor and overturn the us govt answered the question better than the first part .......

>>397882
thanks for your input

>>397878
alright i understand
really does sound frantic though when you put it in the way you have

>>397881
yes!!!!!!!!!! IKR!!! but I also feel pissed a little for cleaning up for them.

I really liked writing this thank you nonny. I liked talking about
With friends:
Be less afraid
With work:
specific tasks at carrol in uncomfortable location
With hobbies:
Do all the stuff I talked about more... but there's still not so much of a path to irl rly. I joined my uni's anime club and there were some cool people but they were transfems who get to ya know be all fun with each other and somewhat sexual and all and me barging in there is not useful
and the volunteering clubs have been normie premeds who only want to give social credit building takes they heard elsewhere.

>>397896
>Gross post
>twink flag
ah

yeah probably

well it's a 'hussy' type term right? it's for girls who want to feel really weak and delicate and desired by men and traditionally fem i think?

It sounds weak and I'm weak enough as i am

now plushy that I'm behind very huggable

they should call themselves blajas instead

>>397912
i dont think u were talking to a femboy

>>397914
oh faye and the sapphic flag were too similar
see the issue was with ME i figured it out

>>397864
I have some online friends I've talked about STEM with and I think they're really cool I just got overwhelmed making my way through it. I should try again but message them more probably.

I actually joined a BJJ club and took a judo class early in college and I just didn't feel like i fit in and stopped coming and they were so nice and asked me to come back but i didn't. oh well, a lesson perhaps. See I'm not really a competitive swimmer or runner I just like to move around in a new place and have some excitement. I had someone near me invite me to do urbex but i was too scared. I should check them out too..

>>397915
(my apologies)

Thanks I better save all this huh? sigh I have a couple journals I rarely come back to.

We can argue about Python again if you want

I rember you going off on that : )

no paralel processing sad!

it's nonny's catphrase o algo

It's spanish for 'or something' I believe

hah!

so actually close to newspeak, really more the language of the guys from clockwork orange

also another hobby to have!

so long as u make each other happy :3

i read it as brazilian jiu jutsu

tuck your neck anons

>>397942
lol DON'T GIVE THEM YOUR BACK

apparently in grapling competitions the finger in the ass is a problem. in turkish oil wrestling it's the meta since you can't get a good grip anyway

tuck your neck anons

artery pilled

brain oxygen content moding

conciousmoding

>>397952
i'll armbar your ass

.play against the kitchen floor will wood

>>397862
if you make heaven can i hang out in heaven

>>397956
hell yeah I dunno what snacks I would have but definitely big white clowd shaped cushions

>>397958
can you bring some nutella

I would love to make themed rooms and have like hmmm maybe a forest themed one with cool forest scenes pained on the walls and trees indoors in pots with LEDs above them ahd hidden speakers that play noises

>>397959
absolutely :3 maybe some nice apple slices to put them on :3

>>397960
would you little water features .,.,.,

Of course!!!!

hheheehe

Have you seen the tables they have to show how rivers behave which have sand on them? kinda cool. It would be cool to integrate that into a pinbal table and like ... ok that one needs more time in the oven

one of my relatives loves pinball and has 2 tables

no i think you are cooking actually
the height mapping sand tables ?

yeah!

it would be SO COOL to make them one with that twist and like stuff I like about em or smth

yeah those are so cool

I'm not sure how i would effect the table though to make a game of it. You can change initial flow rate, or move sand around. You could do it as like a bonzai thing where you watch the little river flow and change over time. You could even mount a mirror above it so it projects onto the wall so it's like a real time moving picture of a tiny river enclosed in a glass box so it doesn't effect humidity, and have trees growing in there too

speaking of heaven

.play heaven talking heads

good old talking heads : )

grrr waow

I bet the meanest looking bitch wants u to do that too

>>397974
such a soft soul

.

>>397983
shes making a point here

>>397978
#skeet (link to skeet)

.play blueberry skies loser company

>>397986
excellent track loser company is good

perfect 'staring at the ceiling at 2am' song

>>397982
>< awawawa

>>397990
#hug

>>397991
#hug

.play soft fall my transparent eye

.play loser company say goodnight

.play open feed me jack

.play earth vs mars red two six

>>398001
#blur

o algo is a good new phrase

wiktionary says it's soy adjacent

yes i know it means or something

>>398008
nice boob get dummy

>>398008
#kick

>>398008
BOOB

wtf is a 304

someone sent me a dm and they said they wanted to molest me

>>398008
spanish is good o algo

i kinda wanted to be molested is that bad?

okay forget i asked

oh

fucks sake lol

>>398024
rape time

>>398017
yes

you do not want to be molested

poor pupper can't catch a break

i need prozac

i'll take it handily along with his adderall

what is that abomination

>>398034
what does hrt have to do with bees

wat

.play mcs the future freaks me out

get your words straight jack..

look here, look listen

>>398046
took me a second to recognize this
good lord

.play polyanna catherine warwick

.play chaos chaos on turning 23

.play fox academy hornet

.skip (video skipped)

.keep (okay) is a goodc ommannd i like it

lost what

i havent played a game in a while

>>398034
Based

DOTH THOU DESIRE THE POWER?

>>398060
i think its just playing music right now

>>398068
seriously? lol

and then they all got booted to the lobby

lmao the worst 3 days of libpol

best 3 days

those 3 days killed regular posters that didnt suck bc no one wanted to boot sharty posters lol

it resulted in wojaks getting the axe everywhere outside their containment board so i say it was a good thing

>>398075
i thought that album was overrated

basically we just need another influx of bad posters so someone has to oust them forever too

this place is the only altchan i can think of that's actually active so i think it's doing alright

yea that's a big problem with 4chan

i'd post this huge response and whoops. post accidentially deleted, or the 10-minute captcha fucked up somehow, so i leave in frustration

i didn't realise how much of a time waster a huge post delay was until i tried going back

i really want to spin up a fun 'arg' esque technical puzzle

when the lsb is funny

when the corporate secrets

maybe it'd be fun to theme it around like, early 00s tech stuff
or make it really old tech
something that isn't really prevalent in pentesting training of the current day

did you mean steganography

why whats wrong with stegosaurus

whats wrong with triangles...

defeated by shapes
unfortunate

whats that got to do with dinosaurs though

seems like a really arbitrary complaint

isnt that subjective
also whats wrong with gay

i dont understand i never talk about tanks

>>398103
#smooch we really shouldn't use it as an insult, just use weak or crippled or uh palid/lacking vitality

>>398106
that seems troublesome for you
i hope you are alright

>>398093
you mean you don't do triangles when you're on your back bjj nonny?

if you did that would be pretty cool i think

oooh maybe you should

I'd be so scared of them wacking into something and fugging my spine up

i thought you were alpha though

>>398082
yep yep. I should start one which just requires a tiny bit of monero to post or smth and you get most of it back if your post isn't banned

isnt that a little reductive

can alphas get pegged

thats awesome i think alphas are maybe gay then

i dont know mjuch about jordy paterson

thats probably good yeah thats cool good advice i think

hmm

what is the hood ?

is thats a foreskin joke ?

oh okay from iowa or something

lol

i had a friend 4-5 years ago who was in vet school at lsu

wonder what he's doing these days

why are people selling crack in iowa

>>398122
are you the secret dm guy

>>398143
maryland???

>MD

>>398147
oh as long as you didnt send the rape dms thats okay

how can I drink and smoke weed and vape and shit but the second I touch a cigarette I feel like I'm gonna throw up and die

>>398149
no it wasnt

thanks anon ! thanks for not sending rape dm

>>398150
cigarettes will suck the soul out of your body and never give it back