and I like talking to her and her friends even if theyre annoying and gooners and cringe

like

ive been on my own so long and I havent known anyone my age for a while

awe

so meeting someone whos annoying and 19 and i can be myself and like

yeh

i can feel like a 19 year old

anyways

what if I cant like

take care of her

or like

be good enough or a person enough

just take it bit by bit n try not to put so much pressure of that sort on self, do what u can to improve over time
but

im not very good at emotions or like

mhm mhm

she'll probably be understanding n also probably is a

well she lives with her parents & thats like hell death sentence, shes pretty suicidal in a really relatable way

more of an imposter syndrome thing than smth in reality at least until u actually have smth happen, do whatchu can

also am basically in this same situation

and i told her she can sleep in my bed a while

and like

awe

were planning it out

i remember when I got kicked out when I turned 18, i went to some older guys house and slept in his bed and

nicu

there was a lot of pressure to

like

hed get me drunk and have me fuck him

yeh

i began moving around n going where i could into bad situations at 18

and the issue is shes also a bottom

and im really scared of sex

and i dont want to like

have to do something i cant

and

id rather she just sleep in my bed and i can take care of her with no expecation

yeh just maybe try n make that clear

ye

and give her something i didnt get

yknow

just make sure chu care for self first n dont end up being pressured or put in a position that would let that happen, but try to have the conversations beforehand instead

mhm mhm

i will

im sure shell be normal

amnd

i think it could be good for me

qts

like if i had someone around who id want to impress id get a lot more art done

hehehe

yeh

is how it works w me n just living w family where i feel unable to at all gah

trying to find a way out of here n also use my money to room somewhere

mhmhmhm

im lucky enough to be away from my family and able to live paycheck to paycheck without their support

yeh i gotta start the work thing i setup but i have some money put away, though i dont wanna burn through that while trying to work out income

but gotta get the motivation to get the income when things feel like a hopeless cycle bwa

>>766828
real

percs

what if like

she finds out im boring

pat

ur not but

just see how u get along n hgive it some time for a lil

mhm mhm

yeag

im afraid to show her i have cold feet because i dont want her to kill herself

yeh that stuff is tough
but you cant expect urself to be the one that she solely relies on for that stuff n trying to get her to have better support from friends first can help

okay but what if i could

u can only do so much before chu end up burning urself

yeahh

i dont think ive ever lived w people my age rly

i just waghghghhghg

i moved in like w 27< yos at 18

yeag!!

me too

sorrys

ive moved around

>>766855
like... mpve ot ,veoit it

move it move it \

>>766860
ye s

heh

what if "self care" was made by the christian nationalist to discourage true autist from achieving their potential

like

liberals acting as agents of the elite to put down real retarded faggots from being the gods they can be

yeh

like why should you give urself self care if your lame and could be better?

>>766874
ye i was gonna mention medicalized therapy speak being so common w younger ppl

like

why not strain urself into success

i stopped using words like anhedonia due to the connotations

>>766883
because they have escaped NUEROTYPICAL FAKESCIETY

i was reading the DSM at like 14 or 15 tho

okay but like

but like

what if a girl had to be a loser fail in order to write the best yuri ever

>>766892
this is making me think of god whats the title

yeh

i still need to read that...

and my exchange diary

i just read a lot of like porpentine charity heartscape stuff

awe

heavily recommend for peeps

ye

idk if ive read it, been up to other stuff

awe

have any read serious weakness?

yeh the autobio nature can feel really seeing

dun think so

its good yaoi

about

an ex school shooter and a chronically ill traumatized child of a streamer

og wait

oh wait is that the one about the trans guy or different one

nooo

not trans guys

but liek

>>766921
i was mentioning here the other day that i remembered that i used the name Takatsuki when i was like 14 online

gm!

lol

i think

i would cry if i was forcefemmed

awwwe

i think i need boyremoval

need to be forcefemmed

i dont think theres any amount of makeip or dresses to put me in to not be disgusted with my form

but like if someone made me stop masking

qt

and like

treated me as an autistic little brother and put their tongue inside me

srry thinking about yuri to o much

>>766961
#hug

aw

dormant is like unawoken

doormat is mat outside a door

dormant

>>766986
huh

>>766999
NO

>>766999
#kiss

no

i will bonk u n take care of n make u not do that smh

>:C

thats good

u need to eat

u need to eat more to help ur hrt

but heya

u are not at all

u might think so, but ur not

stop

no doing it

occupy urself

this is different

u still cant do that n have to get used to n control how u go about things to not trigger those urges best chu can

but giving in is only gonna make u feel the need or thought to do it more

giving into the thoughts that want you to do it

its bad for you

even if you feel gross

okay im gonna sperg out rq

so like

if you have to, thats okay, but purging isnt the answer to this stuff and i say this as someone who has done it a lot

wait

making u eat

hmph

>>767059
#hug

still reach out to people if u need to though but dont let self overwhelmingly entertain the thoughts

yknow the experience of shitty older guys treating you differently from other guys because ur a sperg

even if u feel like its what u want

so they dont talk to you like a peer

maybe try and ask ur provider if theres any other available

and like

theres ones that u can at least get along better with

or get something out of

okok tbf what is some 40 yr old white lady gonna do with me in therapy

yeh

i do think the mental health system is fake and gay

>>767077
a lot of them are much younger

and it can be more personal than the systemitized type ones if u find one

isoki

nu isalr

i just like

from like 13-18 or 19 i did basically the same n probably weighed 100 lbs for most of it

im just dumb n frail

but im oki now, u can feel free to reach out if chu need in those times bwa

ye, on ele probably though

furry go!

heh

hehe

luv thst

that pic teehee

eepy

hehe

>>767146
ooo

i need need to play more steins gate

also lemme do my bi monthly check to see if akonit came out

nope no updates

https://melcoteam.itch.io/aconite-beta