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rules1. you must be 18+ to use this site 2. no NSFW/gore 3. no bigotry 4. if staff don't like your post they may delete it or ban you
faye
you have to enable it witha command
Spiders
the last 1.5 years of my life have been such a waste
>>401992
faye
thats a cool new way for them to test stuff
sæкi
ic
sæкi
would be cool to try if it runs alr
sæкi
hab mc menu music playing from my office echoing
Spiders
>>401968
oh? what? no no thank you
lain from the cartoon
alright well mod pack w/ estrogen mod won
what mod pack
>>401998
sæкi
OW
sæкi
I just fell over
Spiders
no need
anon
why is it a waste though?
faye
>>401993
im gonna try to figure out one thats good
sæкi
hm
sæкi
idk which pack
Spiders
>>401992
yeah. i've been sad for a long time. i'm just coming to terms with it now
anon
>>401978
I’ll literally send you some monero if u want
sæкi
lmao
can see, I have a good amt of money now in cash I gotta get on a card to send peeps on like liberapay or smth to dos
lain from the cartoon
yeah i dont want to run 2019 CVE riddled minecraft server if i can help it
rose
already wish i was kissing boys again
sæкi
but ye, I gotta make sure which source/price has Montero accepted but ye
anon
if u actually buy the estrogen- look it up I’ll have lunch and send u a lil if u need. but it’s easy to buy monero btw kyc if u don’t care
sæкi
yeah
sæкi
I'll see abt linking the resource but yk gon be careful
straw girl
.play godhandusa fuck everybody
sæкi
yee tyty, Im gon be adding my cash to my card today and yea ik
straw girl
.skip (video skipped)
sæкi
as gon go to crypto ATM to not have to do exchange shit, or uhhh
sæкi
local Monero or whatever the new one is
anon
just use kraken or the one built into cakewallet both worked fine for me and had good rates from debit card
faye
wehehehe
sæкi
ah yea
sæкi
mainly avoiding IDing myself
anon
but they shut down local monero. there’s hah lol
straw girl
.play fisheye.guy 6
sæкi
yeah
sæкi
there's a new one
anon
I know there’s the decentralized one that confuses me cuz u need to like deposit escrow to use it and I was 2 scared in my ‘need max opsec but also don’t understand puters’ phase but I just said fuck it
sæкi
yea
sæкi
I wish the local local ones were still fully around
anon
I buy w kyc which fits my threat model
sæкi
I could, but I try not to yk, its not as big a worry in mine but its helpful not to in my case
anon
I think it’s kinda civic to support anon options too but I’m just tired
anon
picked up some cans outside though maybe that makes up for it
straw girl
fisheye girl is such goals
anon
I like to do that when I go for walks
nonners
.play doyoubelieveingod
anon
I’m too scared to email academics looking for a job after I graduate. I need to. I was going to to to office hours and show my professor maybe my emails but like idk
sæкi
nicu
sæкi
aw
sæкi
mhm...
Spiders
i wonder if they believe in god
sæкi
I do stuff independently but trying to get the bandwidth to reach who I need to to maybe check if I could do freelance for smth
straw girl
.play fisheye.guy 7
anon
I like that professor but there’s nothing to say really. and making her watch me work was a silly idea
fp
i have something very important to say
>>402067
sæкi
I might email the one teacher who helped me in high school n advised me to drop out cus of becoming disabled n then me doing so n passing the GED in 11th grade age
>>402049>>402052
sæкi
was a small high school n the teacher for kids w health issues had them in the same class as kids who failed classes
anon
>>402047
my friend (teenager) had a friend who has a bad time up in the Pacific Northwest with homeschool I was hoping she could ged and go to college already or smth
sæкi
yeah
especially in rural areas there the peeps can be tough n have a lot of families who do stuff like that
might try n go bacc to college unless I find work again, had to leave cus of money/health
faye
>>402003
aw im looking into ti and unfortunately estrogen mod is 1.19/1.20.1
>>402060
sæкi
but took courses/self taught myself a lot more than the CS classes that were for introductory stuff I knew
anon
I wanna go to college w u all so bad it’s so isolating :c
>>402065
faye
it hasnt been updated for 1.21 create yet :(
sæкi
hmmm
anon
lol you’d get annoyed w me though
faye
this pack is one im looking at since its like vanilla+ with create
sæкi
I would probably have stuck around more if I knew peeps or could've lived somewhere that wasn't w family still
plus I didn't know my one of few frens there was closeted trans/+nb
>>402070>>402085
faye
im a college dropout
anon
>>402066
yes!!!!! except I was super repressed even though I moved away from family. now I’m doing college again living with family. still sux
sæкi
mhm
sæкi
I got stuck living w family again cus of bad living situation/breakups
sæкi
is toughs to open up after yrs of living in those spots n all pat
anon
oh no
anon
I just have a piss easy major
anon
which kinda sux I really look up to stem
sæкi
pat
sæкi
awe, hope its smth you can handle thoughts n you can pursue other stuff u have interest in .3.
anon
yeah! :3
sæкi
I did mainy ethical hacking stuffs n cyber/info-sec n research on its
do writing/research on hacktivism n threat actors atm n stuffs, n run a org or two to help peeps learn or get help w/o school
anon
.3.
anon
>>402066
I still am but I dunno any point in coming out as nonbinary and life just gets worse from not conforming
sæкi
yeaa .3. its tough but try n just be chu n don't have to be super up front or open Abt it to peeps if it doesn't feel comfortable
anon
ty saeki <3 you’re a queen
sæкi
~u~ patpat
sending peeps support
too sweet bwaa
anon
~u~ pat pat a
faye
im having one of those milk girl days
sæкi
hehe
sæкi
pat
sæкi
>god that reminds me of the time I had for a bit w some uhh lactation
>n gf who could a lot hhh
anon
patpat ~u~
faye
::milk girl
faye
::milk
faye
um
faye
did i break it
sæкi
milk chan :c
faye
oh the booru is messed up rn
>>402106
♪♫
>>402104
it dies sometimes for some reason but she comes back if u wait a few mins
sæкi
.play Silverado hard life
sæкi
:3
anon
:3
anon
I shouldn’t go home huh? I should stay on campus n study at the library
faye
.play wounded animal black dresses
faye
thank u
anon
I have lunch with me but I think I’ll feel empty after that too
anon
#write how to be happy without spending all day yapping online

stop doomscrolling. go outside. touch grass. read a book. gym maxx. delete apps that make you miserable. focus on irl connections. make art, music, or whatever. learn to enjoy silence. cook real food. sleep more. how to be happy without spending all day yapping online
anon
>>402119
don’t OD my frien did and now she can’t talk good :-<
sæкi
lel pat
anon
good then <3
anon
I took my old ones this morning to be awake and I feel numb again. It’s why I stopped
sæкi
aww
yeah can have weird feels for some peeps, particularly if taken after long time off or smth
anon
yeh. my sister was on them and now she’s trying anti anxiety and idk fam I think we’re both cooked
faye
>>402123
me toooooooooooooooooooooo
anon
but I’m glad ur better saeki : )
faye
it helps me a lot :) having my stims
anon
: ) waaaab (reverse beaa)
sæкi
mhmmm
I got mine refilled yday or so
faye
niceeeeeeee
faye
what are you on
sæкi
d-amph/Adderall
anon
yeh that’s what I trid 2 a mix of the two
lain from the cartoon
d-amph > adderall
faye
i gots ritalin hehehehe
lain from the cartoon
dont like mixed salts
anon
why not?
sæкi
not gotten to try others . .
faye
i like ritalin, but it is different since its not an amphetamine
sæкi
ic
faye
which is funny because my clinic didnt realize that for a while :)
faye
well not really funny cuz they cut me off for like a week but it was stupid, they were testing me for amphetamines cuz its standard practice at their clinic and its like. yo this wont show up it needs a special test
sæкi
lel
anon
it is different I think
sæкi
sæкi
yeah had a lot of that
rose
boy i was on a date with kept saying i should use my cute girl charms to get some weed from ppl
But idk how to do that im so awkward
anon
I looked up some of the papers on adhd and it was kinda messy the results :<
they gave a huge dose to ppl and they didn’t remember more emotional memories more which was weird to me but a huge dose is different than smiling probs
>>402188
sæкi
lol
sæкi
wud gib u my weed
rose
ppl in manchester are weird they dont be offering you it like they do in the other city i like going to
>>402178>>402172
sæкi
-w-
sæкi
don't want it guh
sæкi
mhm
sæкi
hmm I think 3. is glitched?
>>402169
faye
i love ada rook
sæкi
uhhhh
sæкi
ughhh
faye
>>402164
video player bugs out if the link is a video of a song imported automatically from yt music (ie the artist - topic) videos
sæкi
yeah
sæкi
sry
anon
>>402160
do they want you to smoke it with them or smth idk how cute girl works
sæкi
yea its not
sæкi
its from a yt search and is a video
sæкi
.play easy life living strange music video
faye
hmmmmmmmmmmmm
faye
it is weird sometimes then aside from that lol
anon
>>402160
people are sad and have trouble connecting with others in MANchester hmmm I wonder why chat
>>402184
anon
::think
sæкi
aw
anon
i'm a huge contrarian so when people are mean to men i feel like i must stan men don't do this to me
>>402183
sæкi
lol
anon
how should men act? should they have beards? some of my male friends are so hyped about the beards
>>402189
anon
>>402188
they gave kids like 80mg at once and had them watch a movie, and usually ppl remember the most emotional parts, and the same with ur own life, but they remembered things equally
>>402193
sæкi
-u-
anon
really it was a niche paper I didn’t read the others 2 well.
anon
>>402190
did this result in them remembering less of the emotional parts of more of the non-emotional parts? seems like a big difference
anon
exactly yeah. I feel like it’s bad because u shape ur mind less and learn less if the effect occurred at lower doses
anon
but idk if it did. I was trying to find sources to convince my bestie to try adhd meds even if he doesn’t have it but it was p mixed and confusing even for adhd i think
>>402202
faye
why did i play this song it makes me cry :')
>>402198
anon
crying is nice
sæкi
15141.jpg
>>402196
::pat
feel that, song I played earlier was one of my cri songs
fp
.play it's ok to cry sophie
faye
something about the vibe and the lyrics gets me
sæкi
will we need to skip the unknowns
>>402206
anon
>>402195
fwiw i love them but they're def a mixed bag. i feel like they made me more effective but i am not 100% the same person. i think they eroded my empathy a little bit. on the other hand they're a lot of fun and i get a ton of work done. idk.
>>402222
sæкi
okok
sæкi
nvm
sæкi
this one almost makes me cri sometimes
sæкi
yea, can skip the doubles once over
anon
>>402189
but like no one wants to be around you if u present in certain ways. I feel like being masculine is closed off but being less masculine can look weird
>>402211
rose
suicidal fowts
sæкi
I saw this band live n talked to them in the smoking area after n got a photo
anon
>>402208
that sounds a lot like a double bind! sorry for the tangent, but feminists have discussed something similar in the context of women. where if they lean into being femme their considered vapid and vain and if they don't they're punished for defying gender roles. i could see something like that being true for men as well, except instead of vapid or whatever it's scary.

imo this all sucks obv and gender roles are dumb. if possible, people should strive for their own freedom. men or women. though of course it's easier to say than do, since you are punished.
>>402231>>402240>>402224
anon
I luv tangents go thinin girl go!
sæкi
yea
sæкi
oh it is lol
sæкi
recommend reading Judith butler on that
>>402248
sæкi
has good discussion of it
sæкi
.skip (video skipped)
sæкi
.skip (video skipped)
sæкi
.skip (video skipped)
sæкi
.play hard life BEESWAX
sæкi
.play hard life antifreeze
anon
I wonder if I should try my remaining ones at a higher level but gotta be safe particularly when they’re slow release
sæкi
>>402211
they restrict everyone & keep peeps from being their own real self, is a social construct applied to peeps in a way that restricts everyone yk
anon
>>402225
i totally agree with you. imo phrasing it this way often turns off people who are not in the know about what is meant by the terms unfortunately, so i try not to center women in context. that tends to make men more receptive ime.
rose
.play lex walton did i hurt you????????
rose
.play lex walton did i make you feel bad ?????
sæкi
yeah, its hard to say to people not aware because they think
for ex w privelage, oh how can you say I'm privelaged when I'm x y or z, etc
>>402242
anon
>>402211
No that’s true fr. when you give up it’s just depressing.
>>402237
fp
heroin should be otc
rose
i center women in all contexts
>>402246
anon
I center rose Orlando (rose Orlando.bandcamp.com)
>>402236
sæкi
they don't get what youre saying so they think you're saying they deserve less n so on
anon
>>402231
sorry anon. good luck, and i hope you manage to withstand society and be yourself.
sæкi
gl <3
sæкi
but yeah, I hope to find peeps I can be comfy around again to break free of it fully in home life
sæкi
is tough w being stuck in nowhere midwest family's place as someone disabled n queer rn
>>402244>>402268
faye
>>402241
this is stupidly relatable
sæкi
and am on a lot of stuff but take 25mg XR addy, I generally don't take it everyday exactly
anon
ooh I only went up to 15mg
>>402251
sæкi
I take (used to have this dose) 30mg some days then one day or two a week for a break
anon
>>402249
i probably described it as worse than it really is. idk. i love it, honestly. you're not supposed to take it just because and i don't, but also, honestly, it just makes life way more beautiful. but i think i honestly was more sensitive to others before i started doing it 5 days a week.
>>402287
rose
gay looking band
sæкi
hehe
sæкi
they're cute
sæкi
it was cool meeting them lel
sæкi
they had to change their name cus easy jet sued them in the UK for the word easy in their name
>>402261
rose
hahaha whatttt
sæкi
ikr
sæкi
it was a total mess
♪♫
>>402257
easyjet was afraid of their power
sæкi
hahaha
anon
btw anon reading this *teleports behind you*
sæкi
:'з
faye
the loneliness here is really eating away at me
anon
>>402241
we gotta help u move out : D group road trip!!!!!! also to the jobs factory where jobs come from so I can have a home too
sæкi
and bwaaa
same to you peeps too who need
fp
same
sæкi
hab moved in-between like 5~ different situations since 2021,
sæкi
got stuck here after polycule peeps I came back here to get my stuff n prepare things, after setting up to move cross country n staying there for a month
was ghosted bwa
>>402280>>402298
rose
yeah these guys and gus dappterton would collab
anon
>>402225
it sounds kinda silly though to say ‘rule of fathers’ harms men when a lot of it is gender roles
>>402279
sæкi
and yea haha
sæкi
>>402276
also implicit judgements of needing to get married or be having seggs n so on
dating women, have all these things, like sports etc
>>402303
faye
gender expectations harm all
sæкi
>>402280
it was weird, they just ugh
they still, 4~ yrs later, havent sent back a lot of my stuff even though I have asked every half yr or more sigh
>>402285
♪♫
u gotta press enter to send ur post anon... it's floatin away....
anon
>>402251
sounds like my numbness mbe I’m glad it’s beautiful I’m going to try that dose tomorrow with my old adderall xrs
>>402290
sæкi
>>402285
isokiii, it happens tbh, but I cant tell if its just them being very ADHD/mentally ill or if its them totally not caring n all
had an okey discussion Abt accelerationists last November
but they were also why I lost my hrt smfh
>>402297
faye
i still have a bunch of stuff at my old apartment my ex took over when we broke up :'(
>>402313
anon
>>402287
idk if adderall is like the same dosewise so be cautious. i know vyvanse is weird in terms of how it works. it's like an adjacent chemical. dexterosomething.
anon
oh true I saw another girl on 25mg
sæкi
is rly dumb how they did it, also they dipped from my life w one of them going to work a high up job at apple
>>402295
anon
i wouldn't say i'm like flat or numb at all. if anything it's like. i must DO and if someone gets in the way of doing i'm like -_- i am a machine why are you talking with me right now haha.
>>402342
sæкi
icic
sæкi
>>402295
yea, Idk if its smth like that, am very errr
other than for requiring income, anti corp anti fed/cop n I feel rly weird Abt them dating for like 1.5 yrs then moving in n doing that, is strange
but I'm glad I had the experience of moving cross country n getting to live on my own more
>>402346
anon
>>402288
those bastards. idk i'm adhd and mentally ill and i feel like i'd never do that lol. this is genuinely awful. i hope the future treats you better.
anon
>>402273
#hug policules sound so cool but I think I’d just be isolated from the others
sæкi
lived w a guy I dated for a while in the city here, b4 I realized I wasn't rly comfy dating most guys generally, n he was a weird channer type I've told stories here of b4 lel
sæкi
yeah, its nice in person if u can live in a situation that's cozy n together, but depends a lot
faye
bluh
sæкi
I need to show the shirt he gave me that's so cursed
sæкi
it has a loli w a chainsaw w the word c-nny on it
>>402311
faye
im bisexual
faye
in theory
sæкi
he was a weird, he had 2 ceiling high figure cases in his tiny room
fp
this song sucks and it's not hurting me
>>402312
sæкi
am pan/demisexual generally
sæкi
butmhm
faye
idk, my sexuality doesn't necessarily fit into labels
>>402330
anon
rose is already a homestuck and thus cancelled
anon
>>402301
what kinda guys aren’t icky to you? could you imagine being happy w one?
faye
its whatever
sæкi
yeah, I use demi to describe mine but it doesn't fully explain idk
faye
i think im sexual but demiromantic in some way
sæкi
bwa
yea
faye
#ksay shrimp
anon
i love snake
anon
>>402317
the map is not the terrain
anon
what if you cover like a forest in a map then the map is the terrain
sæкi
they are
shrimp
eggciting
lain from the cartoon
im a girl :(
fp
people who like getting misgendered during sex are weird to me im sorry
>>402359>>402343
sæкi
sæкi
, ;v
faye
lain is being a gamer !
sæкi
that'd make me so uncomfortable
do not have good memories of seggs b4 I came out
or in general rly
anon
>>402296
idk is apple so bad? I know they dumped toxic waste on that children’s playground but idk like it’s all corpos u know? I don’t want to hold back transgirls from having good careers and economic power u kno
sæкi
apple is bad in ways, a lot of ways, mainly how they are monopolistic & all
like I can appreciate some of what theyve done though they're rly yk
and yeah I think its gud she got that work but also the way it happened was more of the issues -u-
>>402376
faye
apple is bad enough that epic games won a lawsuit against them
fp
.play bad apple
fp
bruh
♪♫
this isn't bad apple
fp
.skip (video skipped)
fp
.play bad apple touhou
sæкi
lmao
♪♫
finally some good music
faye
SOME GOOD FUCKING MUSIC
faye
.play locked girl
♪♫
it's not playing within excel or on a prgnancy test so i'm not super hyped about it but it'll do
>>402361
anon
>>402338
humiliation fetish common also it’s dominance and all ig but mbe self harm :<
>>402365
sæкi
.play Ollie mn disappear daily animation
♪♫
.play bad apple counterstrike
♪♫
with bullet holes holy shit
anon
>>402365
hehe have fun. idk I’m so scared of abusive stuff I’d want to trad off 50/50 if I did that but also it makes me feel a lil sick but also tummy swirly. I like to hope it’s just ‘femininity is humiliating’ and really the horny can be there without the humiliation but idk
faye
vanilla minecraft bad apple is legit
>>402373
sæкi
~u~
sæкi
yea
had bad situations from it in the past n hab to be careful personally
♪♫
>>402370
with the bloccs in the world... it's very good
sæкi
.play belle bouteille unofficial music video
anon
>>402347
Pat Pat yeh she should get you an internship or smth
sæкi
even just hab reached out or explained stuff yk ~w~ I'm glad they're alright thoughs, dunno Abt since the election tho
>>402380
sæкi
have a hard time feeling any like
have hard time feeling real anger or bad Abt peeps even who did awful stuffs to self usually
unless I see them do smth awful awful to others
fp
i need to play a game but i cant sstand video lames
>>402387
anon
>>402384
why do you need to play a game?
sæкi
too sweet ~u~
sæкi
I wan play mc when is up, haven't had the energy to cus of depresso in ages
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