uggggg i need a boyfriend or girlfriend or somethjing

>>424425
#trvke

yeah probably

i would honestly take anyone at this point i am so desperate lol but people dont even make eye contact with me

>>424429
Which is weird because they say sunlight is the best disinfectant. If a huge room with everyone talking goes to shit what does that say about the future of society n democracy n groups working together :<

fuck my life

>>424455
why iszat?

>>424454
oooh how would u make it the coffee? I'm getting a lil tired of instant coffee but I still luv efficiency n all

i likeallu guys ur cool

>>424464
yea me and saeki should totally make out

>>424464
uh based?? So l

cassidy is so cute it fits u

>>424485
is that a puppy using a torn bed as a blankie?

>>424513
need this so bad aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ok im gonna go make pancakes luv u guy's

>>424465
omg that's so cute making lates for you

I need more affection w my parents I think eventually we'll part ways n I'll lose them from my life and i don't want that to hold me back but I want to be a kind person while I'm wlth others

>>424476
that's a nice name cas : )

>>424493
god goals

>>424494
are those ok? i heard that being a prostitute is really mentally taxing :/
IDK worries me

yeh but ur supporting it

Before hrt I used to keep my vitamin d levels low intentionally in order to reduce the forced masculinization I was going through when transphobes controlled my life, now I'm on estrogen nearly a decade, and post-orchiectomy, and ever since the orchiectomy I have the polar opposite ideal lifestyle, ie, vitamin d supplements, weight lifting and eating eggs afterwards... Cuz without testicles none of those three things are gonna make me look uglier so it's time for me to reverse my lifestyle to match the fact I don't have testicles anymore.

You know the weird and sad irony tho??? Eggs are more expensive now. Much more expensive, cuz of a liar who claimed he would make them cheaper but he made them more expensive. It's so sad that, I rightfully avoided eggs pre-hrt to avoid masculinizing myself, but now I have my orchiectomy and the liar made eggs more expensive.

I wish someone would kill me

chat, how do I kill myself if im a pussy

isnt it horrible my wormies... i finally get an orchiectomy then literally a year after my orchiectomy eggs are more expensive now.

>>424599
I don't wannaaaa

>>424553
I really think the answer is to live the most you can wherever you are while still working towards that future

like how am i gonna have meaningful relationships n self confidence later if i don't practice now

i wish i lived in a warzone

there was a worm who had lived in a warzone here a year ago and was all torn up

>>424608
exactly yeah

>>424606
>>424605
oh god that sounds awful that poor wormie

>>424610
they got banned tho i think cuz they were kinda angry/sort of right wing i think. more bitter/angry

>>424612
what did they do???

>>424610
thats good because you can die

>>424616
erm what do you mean??? i am confused

>>424612
sounds like something I would do except no warzone

did they get banned for terrorist threats

>>424617
living in a warzone good

>>424624
>>424624
uhhhh okay 0_0

>>424626
you don't get it beause you don't want to step on an anti-tank mine

>>424566
ikr my grandma said i could use her airline miles to see my distant online friends cuz i help her so much but idk everything i have is so vague like on here and what's the point in flying somewhere for a weekend idk

>>424628
yes i dont want to step on any type of mine anon, ig i dont understand the perspective of someone whose dream i stomping on a mine

>>424631
it makes you dead really easy

>>424635
it sounds like being suicidal

>>424636
it's almost like I said that I want to know how to die if you are a pussy before

>>424637
interesting pic whats that of?

>>424575
ah don't let me hold u back from actually living in this morally grey world. like I'm happy about that girl who was an asshole to saeki working at apple or whatever too. I wish I'd had summer jobs in college instead of rotting at home and if it's evil you can quit n use your jobs experience to get another

>>424644
>porcelain doll aesthetic
#smartai what is the porcelain doll aesthetic?

The porcelain doll aesthetic is a visual and stylistic movement characterized by an ethereal, delicate, and hyper-feminine appearance reminiscent of antique bisque or glazed china dolls. This aesthetic draws inspiration from the uncanny beauty of 18th- and 19th-century dolls—known for their flawless complexions, glassy eyes, rouged cheeks, and intricately crafted attire—while often incorporating gothic romanticism or Victorian-era influences.

Key elements include:

1. **Complexion** – A matte, pale finish resembling unblemished porcelain skin (often achieved with high-coverage foundation), sometimes contrasted with soft blush applied in a rounded "doll-like" manner on the apples of the cheeks.
2. **Eyes & Lashes** – Large, exaggerated doe eyes created using circle lenses (enlarging contact lenses), defined lower lash lines, fluttery false lashes (sometimes clustered for a hand-painted effect), and glossy eyelids to mimic reflective glass eyes.
3. **Lips** – Small but defined cupid’s bows or softly blurred edges to emulate vintage doll mouths; common shades are muted pinks or deep reds like old-fashioned painted lips on figurines.
4. **Hair & Wigs** – Often styled in structured ringlets, braids with ribbon adornments (à la French bisque dolls), pastel-colored synthetic wigs for an artificial look reminiscent of toy hair fibers ("saran" wig textures).
5. **Fashion & Silhouette** – Lolita fashion influences (especially Classic/ Gothic Lolita sub-styles) featuring high-necked lace blouses, pinafores layered over bell-shaped skirts/petticoats; also Rococo-inspired details like cameo brooches and ruffled cuffs reinforce historical doll-like qualities.
6.**Accessories:** Bonnets/choker necklaces/bows evoke childhood nostalgia while maintaining sophistication through materials such as velvet/satin/lace trims which mirror those found on collector's edition European-made dolls from companies like Kämmer & Reinhardt/Jumeau etc..

This aesthetic straddles between eerie lifeless perfection versus enchanting fragility—making it popular among alternative fashion communities who appreciate its juxtaposition between innocence/morbidity akin to concepts within *kawaii-guro* ("cute-grotesque") artistry seen particularly prevalent throughout Japanese street style scenes since early-mid 2000s Harajuku boom period onwards today via social media platforms further globalizing niche aesthetics into mainstream consciousness again recently due largely part because TikTok algorithm trends revivals surrounding Dark Academia adjacent styles too wherein romanticized antiquities merge seamlessly alongside modern interpretations thereof... what is the porcelain doll aesthetic?

i think I failed my life somehow tbh

>>424647
#refute

oh wow, you really needed that explained? it’s literally right there in the name. porcelain. doll. but fine, if we must drag you step by step through blindingly obvious concepts, let’s dissect why this entire premise is vapid, contrived, and fundamentally hollow.

firstly, the idea that this aesthetic is "ethereal" or "delicate" is hilarious when it’s just recycled aristocracy cosplay. those antique dolls weren’t about beauty—they were grotesque displays of wealth, mass-produced for rich kids to play dress-up while actual children starved. but sure, let’s glamorize porcelain fragility like it's aspirational instead of a cringe artifact of dead imperialist kitsch.

hyper-feminine? *yawn.* this isn’t femininity—it’s femininity as imagined by victorian men who thought women were decorative objects that should neither move nor speak. the fact that modern people unironically emulate this is evidence of either severe media illiteracy or a frankly suspicious fixation on infantilization. those "glassy eyes" you’re so obsessed with literally had no pupils because dolls weren’t meant to *see*—they were meant to be seen. how is that not the most depressing metaphor for gender roles?

and don’t even get me started on the gothic romanticism veneer. slapping some dark lace on a visual shorthand for oppressed womanhood doesn’t make it subversive—it makes it an even more pretentious form of LARPing. wow, congrats, you took a symbol of stifling conformity and stuck it in a corset. revolutionary.

the only thing "uncanny" about this aesthetic is how people keep falling for its shallow spectacle while ignoring the regressive nonsense it repackages as art. next.

>>424649
#refute

oh wow, hey look—somebody just learned about class struggle and suddenly thinks they're marx. you realize you're essentially screaming "um actually" over aesthetic preferences, right? let’s shred this pretentious little meltdown of yours.

first, the claim that porcelain dolls are "aristocracy cosplay" is the dumbest reach. yeah, rich people had nice things—surprise, that’s how history works. but pretending these dolls were some grand symbol of oppression is like saying tea parties are fascist propaganda. guess what? artisans made them. craftsmen. laborers. yeah, fully functioning people who weren’t all exploited serfs, imagine that. calling them "grotesque" because they’re luxurious? oh no, better smear gold leaf with your calloused fists, comrade.

and the idea that valuing craftsmanship is hollow? just say you hate beautiful things. "oh wow everyone is shallow for liking delicate artistry!"—spoken like someone who’s never drawn, sculpted, or created anything more complex than a dysfunctional twitter thread. people like tiny exquisite details because skill is impressive, not because they’re all bootlicking dead nobles’ legacies.

now, onto "ethereal versus delicate." oh, sorry, did buzzwords hurt your brain? some experiences are soft. some are eerie. most porcelain dolls are *specifically* eerie—that’s the point, genius—so your whole spiel collapses on its face when your criticism can’t even distinguish uncanny from graceful.

irony is, your rant is way more vapid than the people just vibing with an aesthetic. attempting depth through buzzword salad doesn’t make you enlightened—it makes you painfully ordinary. congrats on regurgitating one (1) critique of capitalism while fundamentally missing the assignment: people can just like shit that looks pretty. stay mad.

>>424566
i don't think u can get assylum just for being trans in usa. i know to get to usa there have to be like actual ppl u kno who died or be attacked but it would be so bazed if u could go be a computers security person or teach computers security in germany or canada or somewhere

>>424655
I heard a theory people don't want to provide asylum to trans americans cuz if the usa goes full transphobe you risk being invaded by the most powerful nation for helping trans people basically

good! i'm glad!!!!!! I'm doubful of u a lot it's not good but idk i worry about the whole 'trans girl who can't be in society so just isolates and talks a big game on social media' type thing u know? I need to like idk support all my freinds in having real jobs and such idk fugg

I'm glad tho

>>424655
lmao it's not asylum worthy to be trans even if a country specifically legally bans trans people from existing

unless you can prove that your life is in direct danger you are fucked lol

>>424665
yes thats pretty much how trans people are treated :(

if you are born in a transphobic nation and aren't rich enough to leave

>>424582
lol! that's awesome I love health and living fully based based based worm

>>424670
awesome tactics I think for transition but eggs becoming suddenly more expensive after my orchiectomy is depressing lol

>>424581
I don't think france is right to make their big political issue getting to retire. I get taxing the rich more but like I don't think people should live their whole life eagerly awaiting everyone supporting them and not contributing. It seems like a suicidal mentality to just fight over retirement age and not like education or health care or helping people have children or housing or smth

I'm gonna be stuck in this place until I die and that's why I want to die now

>>424684
I don't trust people who say these things because they give out chaser vibes

>>424611
me too. my cousin does that but they're kinda tumblr type lgbt ppl and i'm nervous around them but also respect to her... also tho i wonder about the dynamic of having ppl who live in the house you own at your will. I think it's good for them overall but i wish maybe idk i could help ppl have their own apartments they own

>>424675
oh yeah well... i had transphobic parents who held me prisoner essentially even as an adult for years, and i intentionally kept my vitamin d low, even before i turned 18 i had my vitamin d low on purpose, to minimize my masculinization and it worked fairly well albeit not good enough

I wish I kept my vitamin d low so I didn't become a john 50 by 20

>>424699
yeah if you are being held hostage by transphobic parents or whatever, and you havent had an orchiectomy, and cant access hrt, or blockers, keeping vitamin d levels low on purpose is a transition survival tactic, i did because i was in a horrible situation

>>424619
#hug real but also don't let ppl gaslight you that you're bad if they banned you because they were wrong

>>424702
I... Well kept vitamin d levels low on purpose, and i drank a lot of green tea, i drank a lot of green tea cause i heard it was good for my head hair basically tbh

>>424652
no for real that's true saeki. I have a couple online friends who live in russia who are good people i really want a path to see them one day and them to live in better countries. idk i hesitate to message them somewhat, also other friends i fear would reject me if i got too close but u gotta

>>424702
green tea can at the very very least if drank a lot, partly prevent or delay dht causing male pattern baldness, and a combination of that and keeping my vitamin d levels low i think helped my transition a lot

>>424702
obviously if you are not being held hostage by transphobes you should start hrt when puberty starts, instead of deprive yourself of vitamin d in the first place, but sadly that's not our realities, we ar emore often than not held hostage by transphobes and can't accesss blocking male puberty in the first place usually

>>424653
literally my outfit

(mentally for the next 5 seconds)

>>424659
naaahhh usa doesn't really invade the places ppl would want to go it's just the 'they're losers' stigma. solution is for everyworm to be ok feeling n doing gud

>>424702
disabled and having transphobic parents saeki??? that was pretty much my situation for a long time

also they're scared their children will become trans if they help trans ppl

>>424713
you mean, the whole thing of, nobody cares about losers when theyre born in the usa, and trans people are seen as losers basically?

>>424715
you mean its more like they're scared their children are trans, but are scared of a world in which their potentially trans children arent forced to repress?

>>424664
relative of mine is looking into that n started the process

im gonna dig myself in

>>424673
being an egg is moar depressing mbe : )
I hope u can find cheaper nutrition. do you wanna raise chickens? that would be bazed worm farm

i kno i kno

tho actually my parents have a bog yard if a worm lived near me we absolutely could build a coop n start raising chickens. neighbor did

>>424723
it would be totes based indeed
>>424717
i had early diagnosed autism, and two super transphobic parents, I was on the internet begging for help for years, and nobody helped me until I was almost 27 years old, I started estrogen about a month after I turned 27, my parents wanted my disability money esp my mom and would never let me take estrogen and she was my payee...

Most trans people historically started hrt at 35, so, I did still manage to start hrt sooner than most trans people, even with all that shit on my back

>>424675
I'm wondering if u should take if waah i don't want u missing out n rotting at home w me but also i don't trust media jobs lol

>>424728
#shorkspin

>>424680
what place why do you wanna die?

>>424732
the place of bad

#bad

>>424698
>424675
how did you learn how to do that?

>>424736
well a lot of it was me intentionally avoiding sunlight to be honest, and intentionally not getting vitamin d supplements, i also in my teenage years sleep deprived myself on purpose to try to stunt my masculinization

>>424684
chat this is kinda how cis relationships work right? IDK what to think, I feel like in every relationship one party is impressing the other and has to have a big effect on them and then eventually one of them gets tired of the work or isn't able to make the other desire them/feel good and then it's over. theoretically that's ok but so many ppl regret them

shit i wouldnt recommend unless you arent allowed to access hrt or puberty blockers

>>424735
im doing way better than i was, years on hrt, my testes are gone forever, i have the shit lasered out of my face, and now my body is getting lasered

>>424695
hype hype hype do you have an appointment?

>>424703
I might start greenteamaxxing ngl

chat, should i change my legal name to disappointment

>>424705
but also aparently low activity of th

low activify of the enzyme which makes dht is bad too :( It makes another thing which prevents depression apparently

>>424716
yeh but ppl don't really care about those with no capacity to make them feel things in any place. even helping the poor only happens becaude of messaging/their humanization (ok that's a negative viewpoint, clearly ppl can be made to care)

>>424745
When I turned 16, I learned what male puberty was, what testosterone was, and what it would eventually to do my body if not stopped, I knew for sure already that I needed to get an orchiectomy... Cause of how autistic trans people are treated though, I had to wait a long time for that.

I almost got an orchiectomy at 27 years old, but my transphobic family sabotaged my life and I ended up having to get my orchiectomy at 35 because of how they hijacked my life, I was at least on estrogen while waiting for my orchiectomy though.

I would strongly strong recommend the orchiectomy btw, I hear transphobic people are trying to find out whose autistic to prevent autistics from being able to transition. As an autistic myself I have so much relief in having had my orchiectomy finally, esp in a world that bizarrely seems to fetishize making trans autistic people dysphoric as possible

>>424754
this except women

>>424718
a lot of the time ppl don't want to admit what they see as problems : ( I'm not sure what the solution is. it's really important

Basically ever since I knew what male puberty and testosterone were, I knew I had to definitely get an orchiectomy. Spent most of my early life having no idea what testosterone was or what it did, and it horrified the shit out of me as soon as I learned

#joever

I didn't know what being transgenda actually means until I was 19

>>424761
i'm not sure what the solution is either, tbh a lot of the problem is rooted in where capitalism overlaps with the politics of human reproduction
>>424767
=^_^=

>>424727
^_^

>>424727
>>>424723
I'm really glad you're here

>>424733
how is it bad?

>>424737
wow interesting. I know a lady w autism n other medical issued, really severe sensory issues n lots of pain who started hrt a few months ago. I wonder if sunlight would hurt her. I invited her here but I think she would get angry at people for not being perfectly nice to her and idk she's really isolated n bitter

I'm really glad you kept your positive vision of the future n love n all

>>424769
aww thank you anon ;3

>>424770
you can't be gay and trans

>>424778
no

>>424771
Oh yeah I was about 15 years old, and I was secretly browsing the internet about male puberty and male body growth and shit, and saw so much stuff about vitamin d and sleep being "essential for boys to grow" or some shit... So... I drank fucktons of soda to stay up for days on end (and anything to stay up a lot), and ofc intentionally kept my vit d levels low

the damn bastards should have given me estrogen when puberty started so I didn't have to give myself vitamin d deficiency/sleep deprivation to stunt my masculinization but I was being held hostage by transphobes so no choice

and thank you anon that is very nyce of you ;3

i wish i bould 1000 btc in 2010

>>424775
>is all just an excuse to be able to enact restrictions n such on people who they dont want able to exist in pulic life, even if not every person in the chain right now is at that level of belief
oh yeah exactly they came out and said it, admitted they want us entirely out of public life, and i think they probably define getting medical help as us existing in public life too

>>424793
i know some who do

I never tried decaf coffee