its the

numbers

;;;

, ;;;

snuggly hrs..

shy

i might take anxiety meds
either gon end up calm enough i can push self to do what i wanna do and talk to peeps again or gon get incredibly fried n fuzzy

>sad in lonely self

awe

tbh i

could get messed up cus im staying up through the day already n can be vibin w peeps for a while till i eep when i feel like

did wha specifically pat

like w stims-?

pat

i get the inability to eep from just idk
i get stressed n lonely n cant fall asleep . .

sigh

aw, take care of urselves ;-;

also getting droonk sounds nice w the amt of stress from dentist im still dealing with

wanna be cozy n relax w cuties, frens, & peeps

peeps up to much

also omg the stress of my mom almost outing me as trans by accident in a rural christian church we live by
guh

yeah

ive had to do some things like that but
i try to memory hole them bcus of how much i ruminate on thems
but proud of chu

yeah my dad just avoids gendering me or using like
just uses my chosen name but rarely like non masc associated words that he wouldnt use for yk..

yeah

i appreciate that n the thought from peeps when its warranted, but have to also be able to know when chu dont need to

mhm

i was at that point but the situation ive told b4 lead to me being at risk again sigh
though im proud of chu n peeps for making it there, too

bwaa.. isoki, i finally got access again n ordered hrt thanks to peep here helping w stuff
had been so depressy abt it that i just couldnt make the order w/o the spontaneous push n help getting/trading money w some1 for crypto

and yeah

i get that

i mainly stress abt it cus of the kind of peeps around here

and not the high thing

but like
one time i had a guy in a electric scooter at the store come up to me while grabbing a white monster and he stopped and started telling me to not buy it again because the conspiracy theory abt monster logo being the jewish 666

so weird

take the precautions n care chu need

and with meh i was stable n able to get by but a mix of issues came together to being that my dad had control of my money and i was trapped in nowhere, unable to drive etc, and he wouldnt let me buy the vials id been on for 2.5 yrs

now i have gotten money outside of his control cus hecc that (i have disability n yk, families get weird n controlling w that)
and bwaaa aw

i appreciate ur, id probs say gusto

is sweet n cute to me to see peeps so able to stand by themselves n what they deserve at a bare minimum w/o letting self get less, or not taking shit from ppl who do lel (even tho probs a half-joke awa)

lol

trying to think of the word i wanted to use..
steadfast, being steadfast in not giving into less than what you need

yeah

trying to rebuild my ability to hold how i did in the past similarly, think the stress of living situation broke me down but cant let it keep me such guh

>>447978
>>447979
#hug
appreciate chu peeps
dont mean to be so rambly atm, trying to chill and finally unwind

omg i didnt expect her to be a fan or have watched it or anything but
im watching lily alexandre vid in the bg while i work on website n essay
n she mentions the action button video essay i probably quite annoyingly put ppl through having mute playing on here a while ago

lily
references action button reviews boku no natsuyasumi, a uh game review thats nominally abt the game but more of a video essay memoir

and i wish i had fans
ones to cool me down n go brrr and ones to hand fan me yes

(i do not actually think i like being perceived by 'fans' but i like that ppl see my work, other than ppl ik or talk to idk)

hehe

>vibrates keyboard

but oh ye
do you >>448001 or anyone else here have a spacehey i could add or share mine to for stuffs ? i added kate but no other peeps were rly on i think

yeah
is the same spelling of name as on here but w normal ae n not æ

i remember the stupid thing of being closeted n having to put up w guys who would make 'axe bombs' and duct tape down axe spray things n throw it into rooms, usually locker room

and the time a kid in 3rd grade used axe and used it so much that i think they had to make the janitor do a ton cus the whole school stunk

hehe

ive used smaller axes n hatchets a good bit

i used to do bushcraft n stuff out in forest area a lot most days

is fun
and am not gud gud i wish ;w;
personally i just like

i enjoy trying to learn enough of everything that it helps me better be able to learn new things n be knowledgeable enough to enjoy lots of things w peeps idk

i like being able to be comfy w peeps doing whatever is cool n luv learning peeps interests or hyperfixation n so on-
n bushcraft type stuffs was mine in like
4th grade to mid 9th

chu going there just to see peeps or do you know peeps the gallery, if event, is for or has art from ? :o

curious, is also great to go see what is around n new stuff if its one of the

yeee was gonna say the cool art gallery esc events, being ones for art students work or projects by indie peeps who arent the typical well known historical or modern artists that are everywhere

if ur allowed to and u take any pics of cool stuffs wud be interested to see as always <:

>>448038
heh

<3

and also remember with my old school friends i would go into the woods n one of them using either their or my hatchet to cut open an axe can

that stuff is sketch in hindsight

unless you have a way to be safe about it, do not widely cut open a spray can

its fun dont get me wrong lel

like puncturing a tiny or small pen blade type hole in it is cool tho

ye lel

the issue w axes or machetes doing it is cus it splits and then can fly up and cut open stuff if it hits u

yeah thats understandable

i wanna get into like

id love to be able to learn abt n do CNC someday like
taking course or smth or i might

the one trans friend/gurl i dated/hooked up w on n off who is down the road from me (as in only trans person known abt in my area)

worked at the welding n CNC shop a couple miles away

yea sry lel

a trans girl that was the only one in my local rural area

who i came to hook up w n hang out w a good few times
worked as a CNC or welder at the metalworking place near me

i find being able to like, maybe a little less so welding but also that, the ability to cut and turn pieces of metal into a form of near anything i can make a sorta negative of or whatever

and aluminum is used in planes i think cus of the lightweight nature plus it has the ability to take the pressure or bending force i think-

hehe
cute
would wanna hear that from cuties n all abt it myself

mhmm

i wanna get a thin sheet of metal scrap or smth that i can use for a magnetic replacement for the corkboards i use a lot

would be a lot nicer n able to be bigger

ouuu

yeah, idk abt that one in that way of wording it at least cus of being a dumdum but

the properties of all the different metals n materials in general interests me

same tbh

but also i wanna just learn from anyone i can feel oki around tbh

>>448093
yeah

ur all cute
enjoying this convo

and yeah, copper has a good few interesting properties in cooking

isnt it ice that pulls out the stuff in copper that can cause a good bit of health stuff if left too long or smth

i forget the name but its a thing like

the moscow muel becomes an issue over time if u let the ice n drink warm up in it for a while

yis u cant spell sad

yes!

thats it bwa

i was trying to rack my memory

wrack rack im foggy

yes

so much

also i forget what it is, i think cream of tartar or other such stuffs helps whip egg whites to the same level of ease as copper so you dont have to worry abt any of the issues n cost of it

me w my tons of copper ore in mc server
if only it was real

bwa

ima go grab the two monitors!

i took the tv down n i can see out the window to the pretty blooming flowers n trees outside in front of meh again

hai again rose!!

aaaaa

aaaa

i have 4 displays setup!!

omg its

i have displays at eye level

;3;

ive had ermmm idk what the size is maybe a 30 to 36 in 10+ yr old tv as my main display for ages cus i didnt have anything gud i could use

happi

i got these for 25 dollars n they came w monitor arm, it feels like an actual professional work setup finally, more so

i wanna cuddle peep in a chair w one or other on lap or laying wrapped up n watching stuff together
is nicu n miss that

cuties !

mhmmm...

id gib comfort n that if was comfy to, if was theres

>>448214
cutie

ur all precious

thats actually cute, reminding of ver specific stuff like that in comfy times i
get wrapped up in memories like that n shy when cozy

but hope it was a building u liked or yk ,w,

;-;;;

if i was there n wasnt some rando on the street gawking i wud give a hug n hmph

but feel that

ofc . .

lel

ehe
when i was going on couple mile a day walks in seattle

i was in seatac right by the airport and
i had a guy walk up to me and ask for meth

another time a woman with no hair started booking it at me outside the airport till the police ran to stop her from wh evs she was doing

seattle does i am quite sure yeah

we do here

well, i find its mainly about cost

and a lot of peeps will try n have a way to grow for the ppl they know cus of that

ugh

been there
it gets weird
>shivers

hai spiderrrrr

^v^

cuties

aw

awe cya for a few thens awa

ill send a pic of the lil camera along w the monitors n dual stand i got in a lil while, the camera is so cute n actually usable but

its having a lens error :c w/o clear issues

hehe

wud >>448277

hmmmm