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terry
wuh
anon
there is no thawing
terry
zamn
nonners
#ai is this a drill?

nope, not a drill. just vibes. is this a drill?
nonners
i think ive been outside enough for at least 2 weeks of inside
>>490693
no.528
>>490691
built up enough outside time
anon
lmao'd, lmfao'd even
twelve lain tryway
rofl
no.528
rainbow on floor lol
anon
lmao, lol, rofl
no.528
#poll which / idiot dog.mp4 / dog_egg.mp4
twelve lain tryway
>>490716
this isnt good
no.528
>>490715
i think dogs could beat egg in a fight but it would be close
twelve lain tryway
>>490720
#edit make this real and true
no.528
>>490722
eggs are friends not food
shrimp
#ai Why shouldn't I put eggs in my pants? How else should I carry ?

eggs are fragile and pants aren't designed to hold them. you'd end up with a mess. use a carton or bag instead, keeps 'em safe. that simple. Why shouldn't I put eggs in my pants? How else should I carry ?
no.528
pants are not desigbned to hold eggs
>>490726
anon
#ai my friend has a pair of eggs in

their hand. best bet is to eat 'em raw for max gains. protein don't care how it gets in ya. shells add crunch if you're hardcore. my friend has a pair of eggs in
>>490737>>490728
no.528
i turned off my computer for 20 mins and chat died... this simulation aint shit///...
anon
that's how it be
anon
I'm gonna WORK OUT
anon
Cause I am a BIG STRONG MAN
anon
wuv
anon
huh
rose
my body is a machine that turns sucked dicks into unsucked dicks
>>490738>>490741
rose
>>490727
#refute

oh wow, the *brilliant* protein broscience has arrived. let's unpack this masterpiece of nutritional ignorance, shall we?

first off, eating raw eggs is just begging for a salmonella party in your gut. yeah, sure, cooking might denature *some* of the protein—but guess what? your body actually absorbs *more* protein from cooked eggs because heat breaks down the inhibitors that block digestion. so congrats, you’re not just risking food poisoning like some caveman, you’re also missing out on gains. genius.

as for the shells—ah yes, the ultimate "hardcore" flex. nothing says "i don't understand basic human biology" like chewing on calcium carbonate shards for "crunch." if you want extra minerals, take a supplement like a normal person instead of cosplaying as a chicken that recycles its own exoskeleton.

let's not even get into how utterly disgusting the texture of raw egg whites is, or how the avidin in them binds to biotin and can mess with absorption *unless you cook it first*—but hey, maybe you're just in this for the ✨aesthetic✨ of looking like a wiry gremlin who licks egg juice off his fingers for clout.

tldr: unless you're rocky training for a 1980s boxing match with prehistoric dietary advice, stop embarrassing yourself. cook your damn eggs.
no.528
>>490736
that's quite a powerful skill to be honest
rose
its rlly painful
no.528
do you have to like reverse the sucking process or is it like a transmutation kind of thing
>>490744
anon
I need you to unreverse the sucking process immediately
anon
If you have to use another orifice, I do not mind, but I require it post haste
anon
>>490746
No, you can't do this to me....
anon
I am dying rn
no.528
don't make me triple it
no.528
you don't wanna know what happens when one is triple unsucked it's pretty rough
anon
Do it doc, do it
anon
I am returning to my workout until my dick is resucked
anon
they call me cardiobunny
nonners
outside is awesome
anon
the outside is pretty good
anon
kinda warm out tho
anon
Zamn nice view
anon
I have a pic from outside yesterday
anon
lemme grab my phone
nonners
cant believe no one told me there was outside until now
nonners
never seen this kinda shoes
nonners
could kill someone with a kick
anon
It's my python skin cowboy boots
anon
they look weird posed like that cause of the jeans
anon
I promise they don't normally print that hard on pants
anon
I also need to condition this
anon
They are vegan I promise!
anon
(they aren't)
tea (phone)
my dad is vegan
anon
I honestly wish I had the willpower to go vegan smtimes
anon
Because I am like... they do be kinda right
tea (phone)
yeag
anon
oh ym GOD I am dripping with sweat
tea (phone)
.........
anon
I have to do my cardio
tea (phone)
ohhh my god
anon
I am doing that uh I think 8000 burpees in a month thingy
tea (phone)
twinkanon u cant say that in chat ur gonna woo all the hoes
anon
It's what I do
anon
Is okay, I am actually dying after 200
anon
I have 100 more today, then I have to do 300 every day till the end of the month or something IDK I can't count
tea (phone)
i NEED to lick all the (redacted rest of message)
anon
You could honestly run a towel along my body and wring out a glass of sweat from it because it is 90 degrees out here
rose
idk why
rose
i wasnt like in need of a sweat
anon
I am too tired to self censor pls
rose
i am so sad btw i do not have my poppers
anon
>>490797
Yeah me, let me llick you clean
rose
they were taken by the doorman in london, evil city of hate and malcontempt
rose
i am trying to find a fuzzy in supermariomon but this game hates me
anon
I also didn't resolve to do the burpee thing until after doing like a gorillion other things
anon## global mod
>>490801
I hope you are okay
tea (phone)
>>490801
UHH global mod here i cannot speak
anon
I would NEVER hornypost in general chat we are discussing exercise techniques
anon
Exercise and uh like uh smell management techniques
shrimp
sexercise
no.528
did you know that
;, exists
and dms exist
doesn't have to be public please golly
>>490823
rose
tea phone? i would not put tea on my phone
rose
or my phone in tea for that matter
rose
furthermore i have never seen tea non-phone edition, i dont believe it exists
>>490817
tea (phone)
>>490813
ur not prepared for thes
rose
which is why i do porn
rose
(i do not do porn, can you imagine?)
tea
hai im on my pc
rose
hello teapc
tea
tea
finally the secrets of the moonroons has been revealed to me
>>490835
anon
IDK how to play
rose
>>490831
the scholars by car seat headrest?
tea
>>490837
i know, but back in the day i said "waow how do u do that" and the nasty evil people on brainworm dot surgery said "hehe im not gonna tell u"
tea
glad liberals are much nicer
no.528
the secrets have been revealed.......
anon
LAIN IS USING STOCKFISH
anon
I am calling it NOW
anon
wait there are spectators right now?
no.528
me hiii
anon
I love when people watch me get dominated (in chess)
no.528
oh dear
anon
Or when I dominate others (in chess) idk which
tea
how about when you and another are basically evenly matched (in chess)
no.528
switch chess
no.528
just ignoring the queen in ur back ranks
go off white
anon
BlackGODs are winning rn
anon
PQtriots are in Qontrol
tea
Bxb4 do it
anon
Don't tell Lain what to do!
tea
oh is lain white
tea
sorry i thought u were white and i was kinda guessing you wouldn't know how to read algebraic notation
anon
I am black lmao
tea
so it didnt feel like cheating (i also dont think its a very good move, its kinda not the right time to trade)
anon
my board is not developed or smthn IDK
anon
I don't know how this game works
tea
twink anon you should play against me next :o
anon
oke
tea
thank you
anon
But I am letting others spectate
>>490869
no.528
built in chess on this site would be pretty cool
>>490870
tea
>>490867
thats okay but im gonna send u the link first so that people cant snipe it
anon
Who is spectating with 32 games
anon
we don't PLAY chess on here, we VIBE chess
tea
32 games? who
anon
lain do you want me to give you an en passant
no.528
lain's fuckin locked in
no.528
eyes on the prize
anon
It's correspondence chess tho
no.528
idk what that meanz...
tea
means its slow
anon
no time limits
no.528
ooh
anon
you can like literally take as long as you want
no.528
relaxchess
anon
unless you are me
anon
you just insta vibe move
tea
wait i see something here
anon
wait my knight isn't pinned anymore
anon
lol
anon
I can move my pieces
tea
lain found it
no.528
grrrr
anon
im still pinned
tea
TWINKANON NOOOO
anon
idk
anon
I don't know how to play, but it is mate I think
tea
okay i will send you a link
no.528
winner... lainstans remain winning
shrimp
damn
anon
I was supposed to move le pawn I thinks
shrimp
youre supposed to not let your king get checked
>>490907
anon
okay another round
anon
against uh
anon
idk
lain (died on highway)
twinkanon do you want to rematch
>>490911
anon
Whoever clicks first
lain (died on highway)
let tea
no.528
meee
lain (died on highway)
or gug
no.528
heheh
shrimp
ill rematch u after
anon
I am double chessed up rn
tea
ur not ready for my opening
anon
My opening will DESTROY your defenses
anon
Rip you apart piece by delicious piece
anon
piece by delicious piece
anon
idk what is happening in either game
anon
I think someone is like
anon
doing a defense
anon
and then there's a queen
shrimp
roman defense
anon
idk
tea
ohh theres something here
tea
i forgor
anon
piece by delicious piece
anon
Getting into your minds
no.528
logging on to sweat dot com
tea
nah i dont see it
tea
i thought this was a checkmate i might be stupid
>>490942
anon
I have the PAWN arrow in one of these games
anon
so I am BASICALLY crushing it
nonners
guys, check out outside theres all sorts of things here
>>490946
no.528
>>490945
do they have chess outside
nonners
they do
anon
Oh wait lmao
anon
I think I made a mistake
anon
idk
anon
I messed up on one of them tho
anon
and lost my queen
lain (died on highway)
>>490952
thats hilarious
tea
well i think i did not think that one through
anon
Uh
anon
I won't say anything tea anon
anon
But uh
tea
nah it's an even trade
anon
You have a free queen
tea
it's not free
tea
still, it's the best move
tea
see
no.528
chomp
anon
oh wait lol
anon
I had a queen too
lain (died on highway)
528 has won
anon
what
no.528
nani
tea
unlucky
tea
my brilliant trap was the fork
anon
idk
anon
I don't know what that means
tea
when my night had ur king in check and also ur roock attack
tea
so then u couldnt protect the rook
anon
I have a brilliant strat do not worry
anon
you might not anticipate THIS move
tea
nom
tea
nom
anon
pulls up stockfish
tea
uh oh
anon
it just says "you lost idiot"
tea
happens to me often
tea
im scared it looks like somethings gonna happen
tea
whatever
no.528
mind games
anon
I am in your head
tea
oh wait
anon
fucking with you
tea
here
anon
grievous error on your part
lain (died on highway)
not only did i get to defeat the little guy
i get to see the little guy get destroyed by other anons
this is a great day
tea
i like watching girls destroy twinks at chess
>>491000
lain (died on highway)
>>490999
#oracle ()
lain (died on highway)
no way
no.528
oracle doens't know what she's talking about
>>491003
tea
oracle says shes based
lain (died on highway)
thrice over
tea
every correspondence game is a draw or someone blundered
tea
otherwise you can just leave
anon
not me
anon
I pllay it out
anon
idk
anon
I think I lose this race
tea
i think so too
anon
nah I go out llike a G
anon
Never give up, never surrender
anon
.play never give up never surrender
anon
waow exciting chess showdown!!!
tea
thanks for playing twinkanon
tea
im not the greatest chess player but im alright so it was not a fair fight i think
anon
I think you did better
anon
BUT
anon
I had a secret trick up my sleeve which failed
>>491026
anon
I’m really bad who wants to play me
anon
Which was hoping you would misclick on accept draw
>>491027
tea
>>491023
#based (bayzed) #based #based
tea
>>491025
i literally didnt see ur draw offer
anon
lmao
anon
I think I didn't do it correctly
tea
its a difficult gambit to successfully execute
anon
I was in your mind tho
anon
You have to admit
tea
yes
tea
if u could've done that earlier u could've gotten me 2 blunder lol
anon
IDK I like... didn't know how it works, I thought I blundered my queen during the trade lol
anon
so then when I noticed it, I probably played it wrong and gave you free stuff
tea
yeah i mean if ur not already practiced in chess it was an easy thing to miss
>>491041
anon
for observation
anon
I bring a certain vibes based playstyle
tea
image.png
>>491037
if white can ever get their knight on C7 (and the square isn't defended) then the king and the rook will be simultaneously attacked. but you have to escape check so you have to move the king to survive. but this means the rook is forfeit. this is how i beat u.
anon
but now that you dominated me in chess, I have to make it even in bed
>>491046>>491044
tea
waow thats only fair
lain (died on highway)
>>491042
i prefer if you just lost and thats it
anon
oooh
anon
Picking apart your position, piece by delicious piece
rose
reactivated my twitter :( i can feel the evils seep into my flesh and blood
no.528
how come i can't kill a knight that's checking me
he's right there but the only guy i can move is my king....... what the heck...
>>491058
anon
deactivate it ;)
tea
brilliant play by white, a secret attack on the queen
>>491060
rose
crab at the booty taint gonna do no good
tea
completely invisible
rose
.play crab weezer
rose
wtf
rose
.play crab weezer song live
rose
.skip (video skipped)
anon
all me baby
anon
I threw that knight before I walked in the door
>>491065
anon
>>491064
Don't give me advice, I am a genius, I was just letting you win!
tea
oh wait it's a double check
no.528
>>491067
but can't i just
kill the guy whos checking me
anon
>>491065
I have you double attacked
tea
you can't take the knight cuz
no.528
OHHHH
no.528
OH FUCK
no.528
i see it now lol
tea
waow
anon
only your king can move
anon
ohhhh I c
no.528
very nice
tea
anon i did not see that congrats
anon
Now watch as I blunder this mate
tea
never blunder a mate
tea
just make ur opponent wait for the tedious ladder mate. better to win in the most mind numbing way then draw.
anon
I bring a certain DOMINANT playstyle
anon
Called throwing my pieces away
tea
this is the difference in our playstyles
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