you're all acting like its a bad thing!!!

>>769586
it generally is but i guess it can be good......

yeah thats why i said it hehe

>>769581
oh no

>>769583
after

>>769592
I thought that was ur last ex? Right after you moved back home?

>>769593
can you love me like her

>>769585
>just need to fix the problem
hehe it IS that easy...... just requires finding out what the problem is, and what the solution is..... can be tricky...
no need to think abt it in terms of dsm5 categorisations or w/e, no need to pathologise ur feelings
asking questions abt urself is the good start. gotta begin there to go anywhere etc

>>769594
yeah my last but that wasnt before locksmith that was after/around the end of locksmith

>>769598
ouuuuuu i thought it was that really toxic one

right after my other ex left me who i was living with

>I haven't moved on
#itsover (479)

SHRIMP

you must move on!!!! be strong!!!!

why tho

idk what happened when u guys broke up

we broke up because i was too depressed to be a person

oh then nevermind then yeah

like the relationship was pretty good

maybe try it again

>>769607
there could be something here then i think

getting back with abusive stinky people is the bad time
getting another go around with someone u never really went with has potential

>>769597
maybe lole. IDK. From a pathological standpoint I don't think I meet anything like that. I think I'm just young but that could be denial. I also think that bc I've been able to change and have changed consistnetly from my mistakes, that means it's more likely to just be something fixable through reflection and work and stuff like that vs something that I would need to be professionally dealt with. But that could just be copium I guess.

Sorry for dumping this all on to u btw! I need to sit down and work this out myself first before talking about with other people.

But I also need to do grocery shopping soonish

>>769600
#hug

>>769612
yeah no she wasnt bad at all it was just a very awkward painful breakup/post-breakup friendship

>>769613
sometimes the talking is the working out
human brain is very good at processing things in language form, and squeezing emotions/experiences thru language can help them form tangible nuggets in ur brain that can b examined
getting help from others (profesh or otherwise) is useful when you don't seem to be making headway on ur own. others can see parts of you that you may not be aware of

>>769629
happy and pure

>>769622
are you absolutely sure

>>769627
maybe, I guess i'm just scared to some extent of talking with other people and looking for that kind of feedback. I guess I'm scared that I am way worse than I can even imagine. But maybe that kind of thinking is the problem in out of itself?

I think I have identified a few problems that I can work on fixing (sacrificing my own identity to get people who i don't even like to like me, being excessively mean, being more considerate and curious about other people) So I can work on those and see where that takes me rather than getting bogged down in looking for The Real Reason.

But maybe the answer is what I fear and I'm just a BPD/NPD person. I guess it's hard to say

>>769622
at least now u know the warning signs of how it looks when it's goin downhilll.... can pump the brakes n bail early instead of repeating another crash n burn
i hope it goes well and everyworm is happy with it, that's the goal @ the end of the day

>>769648
yeah i mean its really just a matter of i was in a severe downward spiral and thats not a fun person to date. plus im also only half going into this with the intention of trying to get back together i mostly just want to talk again cause we were best friends

>>769646
you laugh but it is HYDRATING and delicious

>>769653
#this is true
the worst one can be is incurious abt how their own brain works

>>769652
a good basis to make a relationship on top of.... friends before partners is the way 2 be
getting back w exes has bad vibes but this one has good vibes i think

>>769653
nuh uh

>>769647
good questions to ask!!!! only you can know the answers, no matter who you talk to about it.... others can only guide the way for ur own noggin

>>769642
WATER

>>769674
what is this from

>>769681
nuhuhuhuh

now THIS is what 4chan wishes it could be
a bunch of fuckin human beans talking and being NICE and having a GOOD TIME

>>769688
hehe.... seeking reassurance from others in uncertainty.... it is a very human situation to be in bloogeroni, i feel ur pain on that

yeah but it wouldn't help. Even if you told me point blank, I would just find a way to continue obsessing about it which I know... But it doesn't help that it's still technically possible LMAO

>>769694
exacto
the knot is in your mind, and it can't be untied by anyone but you
don't be too hard on ursekf... we are bags of meat....

OK last thing I swear, you've been so nice garfield, and if you ever need to vent then I am here I really apprecaitee you and your help.

But I know that a lot of this is driven by the job thing. IDK why this is how I learn, but the only way I find effective to learn is to be incredibly mean to myself. And like with this job thing, there's a lot of mistakes. Like half of my notes are literally

"You are dogshit, do not say xyz" "What the fuck what that plan you retard, that was never going to work, try this next time" which probably plays a role into all of this coming together now, and then moving, and then the normal stress of it. So i think that, once I finally finish training and all of this is behind me, it will be better

>>769699
:( negative self talk rly takes its toll yesu... sorry to hear, it's not nice to feel like u gotta be mean to urself to grow
(if u want practical advice, simply removing the negative part from ur notes is a good start: "u dumbass don't say xyz" -> "don't say xyz")
>>769726
binary thinking heheheheh
practicing acknowledgment of the gray areas and ambiguities may be good
but i'm getting too prescriptive now i'm just a cat that loves lasagna

it can always be better in the future, but why should you have to wait until the future to feel ok? you can and should be allowed to feel ok in the present, as you are now. that's my pov

negative self talk is GOATED for improving at a skill tho IMO

saeki it is true

there is nothign more motiaving than the constant fear of being terrible, it is how I got through training at the top of my class!

there's tradeoffs

>>769712
i think that once i finish the training i'll be fine

nuh uh bc once i do something good it's "YOU ARE LITERALLY THE GOAT HOLY SHIT"

like my last set of evaluations I was incredibly sick, and I did almost perfect and the entire time I was like "I AM MICHAEL JORDAN AND THIS IS MY FLU GAME"

maybe that's the core issue is flipping between extremes

but most of the time the GOATED talk is just talk, like i don't think ti's actually true usually it's just more so like a good job, and then we find something else to improve

>>769714
is the goal to be skilled or to be content

I like to be skilled i think it's a lot of fun

but i mean on both ends usualy it's just words, but maybe it's not, but usually it's just words. Like I'll write "YOU ARE LITERALY DOGSHIT KYS" and then i'll be like "well not actually just you should imrpove xyz" or "you are the goated best in class" and then "well i mean you could do xyz better don't get too overconfident"

extremes are stressy and unsustainable long-term from my experience

usually it's just an extreme statement to make me feel good in the moment, and then i back off of it like the next sentnce

i love to be neutral 90% of the time
i'm the neutral guys from futurama

>>769744
it's like a loan basically, you're trading off endurance for a boost now

>>769748
ur gonna have to pay off that debt eventually...............

eventually, but we have a really good vacation policy so that's kind of what i'm banking on

and now that i'm in the end stage of training it's been less for sure and more measured

mostly because i don't mess up on the stupidest things even (most of the time, sometimes words can be hard LMAO but it's funny)

we are all fallable... we are merely bags of meat....

I'll make a call and then i'll get through it and then i'll put the mic key on my forehead like "holy fuck" and then laugh a lil. I'm not that toxic

job sounds stressful as hell tbh

No! it's like bc i messed up what i wanted to say

>>769759
hehe

>>769759
heheehoehohoh

>>769761
the day wormwatch can play non-youtube vids is the day we watch all the copyrighted content that exists

but u are probably right, i just don't know a better way to really like empahasize the points that i need to work on without being hyper critical like that. Or pedantic.

saeki do you know if the adderall XR beads are like
distributed evenly per bead or what

>>769773
Oh no!!!!!! lain are you doing okay now!! has it worn off??

>>769771
exploration time
experimenting with how u do shit can lead to better ways

>>769778
no it hasnt worn off but i feel like i only took the L isomer?

>>769775
i mean it's like i'm not actually saying "im the worst ever" and "im the best ever" it's just what I say it's not what I actually think i think at least

>>769780
you took the L? for lain? the lain isomer? lainblood?

>>769780
L isomer??

yeah, L-Amph instead of D-Amph
i just feel vaguely physically capable for no reason
i just want to move around a bunch

>>769779
perhaps. I thought it was a sign of like errr bpd or npd but i found out someone else who is like normal and has like a wife and stuff does the same thing so it made me feel like it's less toxic

>>769788
find a couch to lift up a flight of stairs that's always a good one

>>769793
props for jumping on the joke it was right there

>>769789
nobody is born evil or stupid or w/e else... one can be the fucked up little human (positive) that they are and still lead a productive fulfilled life

>>769796
post this man

>>769796
yes!! also hi! i missed ur hi earlier!

>>769799
i'm just trying to tell if it's just an OCD/Health anxiety obsession with BPD/NPD or if it's like something real? IDK.

>>769798
he just keeps trying you gotta hand jt to hin

>>769807
oh i meant like errr my worry about having either of those, not the being really self-critical and mean. I just think that being mean works for me. Like if i'm trying to learn somethign

>>769806
it's important to keep ur goals in mind

>>769811
desperate for an enemy they pick kamala. embarrassed 4 them

>>769803
damn he's cute

>>769817
they shoukd kick his ass again

>>769797
I guess but it feels like i guess maybe it's a sign I don't have it? I think the core worry isn't like OMG i have this thing but OMG i have this thing that means I'm an evil irredimable bad person. And again the fact that I've been able to like errr i guess somewhat self reflect, although it could be fake self-refelction maybe I'm not actually reflecting on anything but simply reflecting on what I think I should be reflecting on, which is false in order to hide the fact that I do secretly have one of these disorders, but that doesn't seem likely

anyways, i appreicate all of the help!!! Thank u guys so much, and if you ever need to talk or vent I am here for you as well!!

>>769823
#hug

she's going shopping

actually true tho i need to do grocery shopping today

>>769833
capitalism (too profitable)

ok the 10 hour shifts are kinda brutal sometimes, but the 4 days on and off are nice

>>769840
yes yes twinkledinklerinklepinklehinkledoo?

based

i am drinking the national american drink "water"

romeo wanna watch my little pony?

^w^

no clue what that is but hell yeag

got DAMN why r arizona cans so CHUNKY

mraow

7

14

.play [YouTube]

.play [YouTube]

mac donalds :D

this episode of the boondocks lookin kinda wierd

why grandpa freeman talkin like that

same

.play [YouTube]

colonel stinkmeaner my goat