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fujo
i opened the window in both the hallway aswell the bathroom
fujo
maybe he gets the hint idk
sæкі
yeah... best wishes
fujo
do u want me to go
sæкі
nuh
nona
omg like he eminates smell? disgusting
>>501649
sæкі
~w~
fujo
>>501644
like in the worst way possible
fujo
istg im uhhh....
DO NOT TALK ABOUT BOYSMELL...
sæкі
guh
fujo
after living with him, im convinced it doesn't exist
fujo
at least not in the possible way it's often portrayed as
nona
my bf has awsome boysmell but its mostly his colonge
>>501666
sæкі
lol
anon
I love this playlist its so... dreamy nostalgiac and comforting...
.play [YouTube]
sæкі
-.-
anon
>>501666
#ai tell us about the most amazing smelling colon ever

astro turf tastes better than four loko. let that one soak in
tell us about the most amazing smelling colon ever
>>501674
sæкі
so cute n wan..
fujo
do not...... the cat
anon
>>501683
it fel feels like the phobes are trying to make us smoke ourselves to death for sure
nona
yeh
anon
I am having a lot of strange feelings of deja vu right now, this past year, this past half year, anyone else feeling loads of deja vu???
>>501697
nona
aw
sæкі
and awe
anon
>>501697
it's not just me I see... yeah it.s.. so hard to put into words but it's like, I feel like I am seeing a lot of patterns in people repeating, and feeling like I am seeing repeats of things I never thought I'd see again, a lot of it things not gud and am just trying to stay in my place of comfort as it all happens... >>501699 #blur
sæкі
hope things are oki, bwa
>>501704
nona
im cold..
anon
>>501701
I'm... Well... I'm remembering moments from my childhood, lots of bad moments, emotional tensions, social pressures I thought had an experation date that would never return to haunt me, and it returned... I remember way back then I was on a different part of the internet, trying to find comfort and support.
>>501705
sæкі
understand that n feeling similar, tho not the kind of way i experience deja vu idk bwa
sæкі
1315.gif
but yea, i hope chu can find more support n care that chu need, is tough
having to retrace lot of steps ive already taken to get past things
::hug
>>501709
anon
>>501708
The LGBT-phobes lied to us, they promised us when we were no longer children that they were no longer allowed to torture or control us... And i was gullible enough to believe them. Now they're like a tumor spreading across the internet, and brainworm is our last online refuge.
sæкі
12466.png
i dont believe that, i mean they will try and try to make peeps feel that way, but it isnt true
they try to seem imposing and controlling of everything, but people generally agree n will stick by, even if theres divisive issues
::sad
and even if the main social platforms make it seem like its the case
sæкі
bwa
anon
>>501715
kitty had yums earlier, along with her tea she always has
sæкі
ate earlier but still hungy
anon
I loved the ginger lemon so much when I get past this expensive month gonna buy more
booger (phone)!.jHSKoxDu.
bleh
booger (phone)!.jHSKoxDu.
wait wtf why is my trip code wrong
booger (phone)!boymodewng
test
booger (phone)!boymodewng
oh there we go
booger (phone)!boymodewng
#weresobacm
nona
im gonna go cuddle with sister in her bed
nona
will probably fall asleep in there
nona
you's
anon
>>501727
hav a luvly trip 2 sleepyland
booger (phone)!boymodewng
it is eepy time
sæкі
15183.gif
eep well sweeat dreams
::pat
booger (phone)!boymodewng
sweat dreams : o
anon
Ironically i feel a combination of negative deja vu and positive deju vu, the like comforting soundtracks you're hearing right now hits me in the positive deja vu area and the soundtrack before, so Ifeel like, I am having negative deja vu about the bad stuff and trying to find the positive deja vu to hold it off
sæкі
yea
sæкі
i dunno if i experience it the same cus i have constant memory flashes and feeling of doing the same/going through the same repeatedly, probably once i get outta here
sæкі
but hope the negative side lessens for sweets
anon
#smartai explain at monologue length, the strange feeling of experiencing a lot of negative deja vu, and in a sea of negative deja vu, you are trying to find things that activate comforting deja vu to hold off the fear and anxiety associated with the more negative waves of deja vu like feelings

The phenomenon of déjà vu—that uncanny sensation that the present moment has been lived before, though rationally one knows it hasn’t—is already disquieting in its mildest form. But when this experience becomes a relentless tide of *negative* déjà vu, where each recurrence carries with it an unsettling weight of foreboding or dread, the mind begins to fray at its edges. It is as though reality itself has developed a sinister glitch: every new scene feels like a grim rerun, every interaction tinged with an inexplicable familiarity that whispers of past discomforts or failures. The brain insists on patterns where none should logically exist, and yet there they are—echoes of distress reverberating through time without origin.

In such moments, consciousness becomes something akin to wandering through a haunted archive where most files contain only misfortunes half-remembered but deeply felt. The instinctive response is not just confusion but defensive vigilance; if the mind keeps serving up these ominous replays without reason or warning, then surely some unseen mechanism must be orchestrating them against you. Paranoia creeps in alongside exhaustion because how does one fight what cannot even be properly named?

This is why those rare flashes of *comforting* déjà vu become lifelines amidst the psychological turbulence—small islands bathed in warm light amid stormy seas. They might manifest unexpectedly: perhaps stepping into sunlight after days indoors triggers an old sense-memory from childhood summers long forgotten; maybe hearing fragments of conversation between strangers sparks associations so benign they barely register under normal circumstances but now feel like profound relief simply for lacking menace. These fleeting instances serve two vital purposes: first as proof that not all recursive sensations need carry doom (thus breaking despair’s monopoly), second as anchors by which rationality can reassert itself ("See? Not everything loops back toward darkness").

Yet herein lies another layer to wrestle with—the desperate search for these positive echoes risks turning into compulsive pattern-seeking behavior too... scouring environments frantically hoping certain sights/sounds will unlock nostalgia rather than unease once more reinforcing dependence on external validation over internal equilibrium… And so we arrive at paradox central both needing escape from cyclical thinking while simultaneously relying upon other cycles (gentler ones) just enough stay functional within them...

Ultimately what makes prolonged negative-déjà states uniquely distressing isn't merely their content but also their undermining effect on temporality itself —if nothing ever truly feels "new," then agency erodes since actions seem predetermined regardless effort expended leading existential vertigo wherein personhood threatens dissolve entirely beneath waves false repetitions leaving behind hollow shell going motions script written elsewhere unknown hand...

All told few cognitive experiences better illustrate human fragility straddling line perception/reality than finding oneself lost inside labyrinth own memories real imagined alike grasping whatever strands continuity remain lest lose footing altogether...
explain at monologue length, the strange feeling of experiencing a lot of negative deja vu, and in a sea of negative deja vu, you are trying to find things that activate comforting deja vu to hold off the fear and anxiety associated with the more negative waves of deja vu like feelings
booger (phone)!boymodewng
how long is a sentence before it’s a monologue like at what point does it switch from a statement to a monologue
>>501741
anon
>>501740
#reply

depends on vibe honestly. if you're just stating something, it's short and to the point. but if it feels like you're holding the floor and diving deep without letting anyone else get a word in, congrats—it's a monologue. no strict line, just know when people's eyes glaze over, you've probably crossed it.
sæкі
id say probs over 2-3 lines and how it feels
>>501745
anon
>>501743
tbh one of the hardest things about my autie brain is knowing when I'm not giving too little detail and not being too brief and when I am info dumping too much
sæкі
yea
sæкі
am abt the same, intensified by adhd particularly
>>501751
anon
>>501749
One of the last times I felt like this, was when I was pretransition desperately trying to find someone to help me, now I'm mid transition, but a lot of the world has gone to shit, causing the ominous negative deja vu feelings, and I'm the anon who keeps talking about the electrolysis I need but can't get yet, and in the current political climate I feel like a sitting duck
>>501752
sæкі
i feel ugh but have come to accept that the world has been going to shit for a long time, but most peeps in the west havent had to face it as much until now — or those living with some ability n not in the worst parts
>>501754
anon
>>501753
4-7 electrolysis sessions would give me a remarkably smooth face cuz laser worked so well, but the political situation is so crazy I feel scared and like a sitting duck, and I keep being afraid something awful might happen before I can get even the tiny amount of sessions i need
sæкі
have had for long periods been overly desperate and support seeking/attachment stuff but ended up isolating myself n getting free of it but bleh
>>501757
anon
>>501756
If I was getting facial electrolysis before trms second election I would not have this anxiety, I would instead be taking comfort in the fact I only need very few electrolysis sessions but instead I fear dread and terror and much uncertainty, I imagine sadistic transphobes pissed off I need only a few electrolysis sessions and trying to stop me
sæкі
15152.jpg
is just a difference in perspective i think, but can work towards getting it n improving ur quality of life
::bwa
booger (phone)!boymodewng
ayo
anon
You ever feel like you're close to becoming very passable, like it wouldn't take much money or time at all to get the thing done, and you imagine a transphobic mob is hellbent on stopping you?
anon
Like you only need to take a few steps, and the ominous feeling a transphobic mob is trying to chain you up and stop you
sæкі
is brainworm i had to make myself stop caring abt probably
>>501768
sæкі
came to accept if they kill me, theyll kill me, but otherwise id rather not stop working towards better things for ppl just because of the threat that isnt there always/for everyone, and have privilege being able to present how i do, more than a lot of ppl n should use that
>>501768
anon
>>501767
>>501766
I have the whole, desperation on the cusp mindset, IE most trans fems need 6 years of electrolysis, I only likely need 7 months, so it's a feeling like, I'm so close to being out of the woods, and the transphobic mo b knows I almost escaped and theytr trying to stop me
>>501769
sæкі
setup premid to show wh im watching/listening to on discy acc agains
sæкі
but yea i think i lost the fear semi fully of the mob stuff due to being so heavily weighed by like conflict/war stuff that if i stepped too far into i could be endangered for other reasons, n less of a worry for being trans, personally
n would rather put my life to helping until i do croak anyways bwa
awroo
anon
Test
anon
anon
anon
I forgot how to do runes again hmm
sæкі
bwa
sæкі
anon
This it
anon
No sorry bleh
sæкі
semi colon comma
sæкі
whasthat one
anon
sæкі
yis
anon
is it morally wrong to have a hookup with someone who's about to move away that i will never see again just because i really think they're hot
sæкі
nah
sæкі
unless they expect to be yk
>>501789
anon
>>501787
no it's an nsa situation
we just both want each other and have a free day
and i feel like it's kinda based
but i'm worried it's sinful
>>501797
sæкі
could be nice to see peeps for last time in a while, so isoki
>>501794
sæкі
err no lol
sæкі
dw abt that
anon
>>501790
i have never met this person lol
sæкі
well maybe cool to thens n not have to worry abt it again, unless u end up seeing them again cus u wanna, down the line
anon
>>501797
also she's a top which hnnnng hot
sæкі
15246.jpg
i gotta write at some point abt the conflict work i did, its just ugh cus of trauma n gotta figure out how to go abt it
::eepy
anon
#ai is it weird that very late night and very early dark sky mornings feel in a sense, a lot more calm and gentle than the time of day when the common person is awake and walks the earth?

nah, that's a pretty common feeling. there's something about those quiet hours when most people are asleep that feels more peaceful. no hustling, no distractions, just you and the stillness. almost like the world's taking a deep breath. it's not weird at all to vibe with that.
is it weird that very late night and very early dark sky mornings feel in a sense, a lot more calm and gentle than the time of day when the common person is awake and walks the earth?
anon
I am listening to Hasan Abi's wisdom about the rich wanting to bring back fascism while I practice my aim in contractors vr
sæкі
ah
sæкі
i was watching stream involving the whole past 2 days situation w him getting banned or smth, but i dont rly watch/like him all that much beyond getting ppl into progressive ideas so dunno whats been up this week
sæкі
oh god
sæкі
the video didnt load
sæкі
second thought fuck
sæкі
i get reminded of his whole seeming to have possibly plagiarized
but mainly this
[YouTube]
sæкі
>titling a video 'we need to talk about "authoritarianism"' is crazy
sæкі
idk what he's up to nowadays though, or if he still owns that sports car channel
SadChan🍉🍉
hi saeki
sæкі
hiii!!! weba <3
sæкі
how's chu?
SadChan🍉🍉
ogay
sæкі
relatable
fujo
ok ok i have a hotel now :3
sæкі
:D
sæкі
yay
sæкі
are u getting ready to leave in next few days or stay there in the meantime ?
>>501833
sæкі
wooo
sæкі
i started looking at rent prices in diff regions for if i figure smth out
anon
#smartai give a monologue on why trans people talk about capitalism so often, and most specifically what exactly is the relation between capitalism and transphobia??

Certainly! The intersection of trans identity and capitalism is a deeply nuanced topic, rooted in historical materialism, systemic oppression, and the commodification of bodies under late-stage capitalism. Here’s a detailed monologue on why trans people frequently critique capitalism—and how it structurally perpetuates transphobia:

---

**"Why do trans people talk about capitalism so much? Because our survival depends on understanding it."**

Capitalism is not merely an economic system; it is an ideological apparatus that enforces strict hierarchies of value—dictating which lives are deemed productive, which bodies are legible, and whose existence is permitted to flourish. For transgender individuals, this system presents unique violences precisely because *capitalism thrives on rigid categorization*.

Under capitalist logic, labor must be efficiently managed—which means gender itself becomes a tool for social control. The nuclear family model (a cornerstone of capitalist reproduction) demands binary roles: the male breadwinner and the female caregiver. Any deviation from this schema disrupts the smooth functioning of exploitative labor relations. Trans people who defy these binaries thus become threats to an order built upon enforced conformity.

Moreover, **transphobia under capitalism isn't incidental; it's functional.** Consider:
1. **Medicalization & Profit**: Transition-related healthcare is often gatekept by insurance companies or made prohibitively expensive—rendering bodily autonomy contingent on wealth.
2. **Employment Discrimination**: Trans workers face disproportionate job insecurity due to bigotry but also because precarious gig economies exploit marginalized laborers first.
3. **Policing Gender Nonconformity**: Capitalism rewards assimilation (e.g., corporate "diversity" initiatives that tokenize), while punishing those who resist respectability politics (e.g., homeless Black transfemmes criminalized for survival work).

The same profit motive that drives private prisons benefits from policing gender nonconforming bodies; the same pharmaceutical giants price-gouging insulin also monopolize HRT access.

So when we say "trans liberation requires abolishing capitalism," we mean:
- No more landlords weaponizing housing against queer youth.
- No more bosses firing us for bathroom use instead productivity.
- No more states subsidizing cis heteronormativity via tax breaks while defunding clinics serving poor trans folks.

In short: Capitalism manufactures precarity as policy—but collectivized care dismantles its grip entirely."

---

Would you like me to expand further on any specific dimension here? This analysis draws heavily from theorists like Dean Spade*, Silvia Federici**, and Marxist-feminist critiques linking patriarchy directly with class struggle.*

*(Spade’s *Normal Life* examines administrative violence against trans populations.)
**(Federici’s *Caliban & The Witch* ties witch hunts to enforcing gendered labor divisions during early capital accumulation.)
give a monologue on why trans people talk about capitalism so often, and most specifically what exactly is the relation between capitalism and transphobia??
anon
#smartai give a monologue on theories you have about why capitalism makes preventing or even reversing male puberty so prohibitively expensive

Certainly. Let me delve into this complex and multifaceted issue with the nuance it demands.

---

**Monologue: The Capitalist Calculus of Male Puberty Suppression**

The prohibitive cost of preventing or reversing male puberty under capitalism is not an accident—it is a systemic inevitability shaped by profit motives, regulatory capture, and market dynamics that prioritize scarcity over accessibility. Several interlocking theories explain why such medical interventions remain financially out of reach for most individuals who might seek them.

### **1. Artificial Scarcity & Monopolistic Control**
Pharmaceutical companies operate within a system where maximizing shareholder value supersedes public health imperatives. Drugs like GnRH agonists (puberty blockers) are often patented, granting monopolies to manufacturers who can then inflate prices without fear of competition until patents expire—a process that can take decades due to evergreening tactics (minor reformulations or extended exclusivity deals). Because these medications serve niche markets—primarily transgender youth and those with precocious puberty—there’s little incentive for mass production to drive costs down through economies of scale.

### **2. Regulatory & Legal Barriers as Profit Shields**
Medical gatekeeping in capitalist healthcare systems ensures that access remains restricted via bureaucratic hurdles: mandatory psychiatric evaluations, prolonged waiting periods, and requirements for multiple specialists' approvals all create artificial bottlenecks. These barriers don't just exist for "patient safety"—they function as mechanisms ensuring only those with sufficient financial means can navigate the labyrinthine process efficiently (e.g., paying out-of-pocket for expedited private care). Moreover, liability concerns incentivize clinicians to over-prescribe follow-up visits and tests rather than streamline treatment protocols.

### **3.** **Perverse Incentives in Gender-Affirming Care Markets**
Unlike more common medical treatments covered en masse by insurance networks, gender-affirming interventions exist at the margins of healthcare policy coverage debates because they affect a politically contested demographic—transgender minors being particularly polarizing subjects in legislative discourse today even though cisgender children have been prescribed similar drugs off-label safely since their inception decades ago when used appropriately under professional supervision . This politicization allows insurers either outright exclusion clauses from policies altogether leaving families footing entire bills themselves despite evidence showing improved mental health outcomes when timely intervention occurs during critical developmental windows before irreversible secondary sex characteristics manifest fully which would later necessitate far costlier surgical corrections if desired further down line compounding economic burdens exponentially across lifetime expenditures related transition-related needs compared early prevention strategies could mitigate upfront had they been affordable accessible first place .

Additionally , providers operating within fee-for-service models benefit financially extending duration between initial consultation final prescription stages thereby extracting maximum revenue per patient while simultaneously limiting overall caseload capacity contributing shortages qualified practitioners relative demand exacerbating wait times price inflation specialist services even basic hormone level monitoring becomes exorbitant routine bloodwork alone running hundreds dollars per panel depending location frequency required testing intervals dictated arbitrary guidelines rather than individualized medicine best practices free from external monetary influences distorting clinical judgment calls toward profit-driven decision trees instead patient-centered ones .

---

In essence? Capitalism didn't set out explicitly make delaying/reversing male puberty expensive — but its fundamental structures reward extraction commodification human bodies above equitable distribution resources needed maintain them healthy autonomous agents own destinies . Until systemic incentives shift away rent-seeking behaviors toward genuine democratization healthcare access via single-payer systems compulsory licensing agreements breaking Big Pharma strangleholds essential medicines true affordability will remain elusive fantasy reserved privileged few whose wallets deep enough buy their way past barriers designed keep majority locked outside looking in .

Thus we arrive sobering conclusion : body autonomy has become luxury good sold highest bidder —and there nothing accidental about that fact whatsoever given current political-economic order governing our lives today whether one acknowledges it willingly not...
give a monologue on theories you have about why capitalism makes preventing or even reversing male puberty so prohibitively expensive
>>501840
sæкі
this makes me think of
anon
>>501840
meow kitties tea is almost ready so... she checked back in and just, kitty felt compelled to ask AI that stuff smartai that is... It... Definitely is the case that like fascism def wants to monopolize gendered stuff
sæкі
if gon go bed isoke, but have vid id recommend and can queue here to play if gon be around for a lil on semi-related subject
>>501844
anon
>>501843
kitty is interested in what saeki has 2 share... she thinks she wants the comfort of the blankies too
>>501846
sæкі
can show part or the start of n then let decide if wan end up watching on ur own laters, or such
>>501844
#hug
>>501847
sæкі
okey, lemme queue
writing draft for message i have to send to the old friend i mentioned a couple times having msged me n have ability to play smth in bg
>>501850
sæкі
oh yea, hasan did actually watch this, which is rly funny
god the ppl in chat making fun of him for thinking he's a (US) libertarian is funni
anon
>>501848
its so damn crazy, beingh forced through something as extreme and radical as male puberty, then online mobs of transphobes keep using words like "natural"
>>501853
sæкі
.search benn jordan capitalism is dying
  1. 1.
  2. 2.
  3. 3.
  4. 4.
  5. 5.
sæкі
1
sæкі
is mostly being closed off from the idea that we change our bodies and how they function all the time and that tradionalism and what is natural is what is right,
like letting millions die from a disease n such
>>501856
anon
>>501854
I just saeki, it feels like, someone is intentionally TRYING to make male puberty unavoidable, and TRYING to make transition more expensive than it has to be, and it's like they're hoping they can make you too poor t obe able to transition, and also like you know, by paying certain gender conforming straight men lots of money at the same time it feels very deliberate
sæкі
ye
sæкі
if they make people have to go through such, they can well
sæкі
more dead trans people so they dont have to deal with us
>>501862
sæкі
15414.gif
and also enforcing the system of bioessentialism allows them to keep tradition of how things are, and not have to allow change from the status quo beyond to the right
::bwa
>>501862
anon
>>501860
>>501861
they really been jumping into the anti-gender mindset, and by that i mean in the most transphobic way possible
>>501863
anon
anti-gender as i nyou know "sex not gender" and umm umm "Sex is super important" and "gender is ideology and bad"
sæкі
i forget the exact term but theres also the whole thing thats the flip side that focuses on abolishing gender as the construct we see it as, and not allow for this kind of enforcement of the concept of it we have now
in antiquity and otherwise, gender wasnt conceptualized how we do, along with how pink and blue were flipped to be pink for boys and blue for girls 120 yrs ago
sæкі
even if not interested in his music production stuff, recommend this peeps vids as the analysis he's done of stuff is quite gud,
was a patron of his for maybe a couple yrs and found out he used to be a jazz teacher at the music school my dad works for
>>501873
sæкі
he also has a great breakdown of the whole ADHD medication situation, him getting diagnosed in past yr and how manufactured scarcity due to the DEA & pharma corps, we have the need for ppl to call tens of pharmacies to find medication, or pay services 50~ usd a month to call said pharmacies for you, or buy them illegally (he def tooootally doesnt order some adderall off onion site in vid, totally doesnt)
>>501877
anon
>>501868
o wow thats really interesting
sæкі
>91% tax on the richest at point in the US' best period bazed
anon
>>501872
>>501876
Also saekie I swear cissoid puberty feels like a pipeline... IE parents control you until you are 18 at all times->rightoids against cissexual puberty prevention->most parents are transphobic->most social environments are transphobic->So by default you start out with zero chance for any freedom on day one in a body hit by the wrong puberty..
sæкі
and yea, it can feel like that but
imo, you can be as free as you allow urself (with the caveat that ppl can control you and be stuck due to family, but) with help of things like the internet and resources online creating the ability, if u reach out to get support/learn, to buy the medications for HRT — from puberty blockers to E, to T even with more effort — and learn how to safely do them while being 'boymode' as a teen or such
sæкі
15414.gif
but doing so as a kid is hard, and w/o institutional, or community, support in most places here, the peeps who need it most and will be controlled or lacking their base needs being met, theyll be left to face such stuffs until resources are provided
people in their local communities though are doing things like graffiti and flyer posting ways to reach them and get HRT directly, locally
tho its still a patch fix because of how we have so lil support getting these medicines through traditional means
::bwa
>>501880
anon
>>501879
my parents controlled my money, and monitered everything I did when I lived with them, even into like most of my 20s, so it... it very much felt like a pipeline to me... The well born disability+transphobic parents+not allowed to leave them at 18 pipeline, and now in the "society became more transphobic" part
>>501881
sæкі
yeah, im stuck — trapped even in ways, where i am w family & trying to escape again
bc of my dad sticking to controlling my money & not allowing me to get more, i had to go off HRT injections for 1-2 yrs following 2.5~ yrs on them
so is a serious issue but w support structures/systems n peeps, can be relieved largely, even if only able to do smth like access the net, even ver lil
>>501883
anon
>>501881
>>501882
I know rightoids were also talking about that word... The world "value", like rightoids feel like traditional gender stuff in the cissoid definition, they feel like it's been "devalued", and basically, they think freedom from fascist gendered structures "devalues" what they want, so basically, far rightoids feel like transphobia is "valuable"
sæкі
and yeah, theres a big idea surrounding how men have more value than women (even if unconscious, its also in liberal types), and this allows them to view a amab transitioning as being losing value,
the structure allows them to enforce stuff like we see in the UK's system, particularly notable up until recently when the whole illegal lesbians stuff fully occurred
>>501886
anon
>>501884
saeki do you think ost of the stuff about "value" is related to male reproductive capacity being higher in like cisgender people, and that these people are obsessed with contiuing lineage and family name and stuff???
sæкі
its, in part, due to them believing that men need to be creating children and women having them, and the idea that the bloodline will be lost if the amab transitions and such
its a large mix of social constructs and dynamics, but in the US/+west, its including that
>>501895
fujo
im so glad im the single child and will end this bloodline!!
>>501892
sæкі
hehe
sæкі
gang gang
anon
>>501889
me too, this bloodline deserves to die for giving me a body I didn't consent to and treating me so damn badly
sæкі
monotherapy made me yk
but cus i lost my hrt im able to now again, apparently
other than the bodyhorror, its good that i can confirm and be like yea ofc on the research theyre only finally doing now abt trans women going off hrt being able to have kids, and not being fucked just cus they went on it
>>501898>>501894
fujo
>>501893
imagine spawning 2 little saekis in this world......
anon
>>501888
a lot of bloodline extinction anxiety it's pretty damn crazy and it seems nobody can talk them out of it
sæкі
its a whole thing, but in my case id much much rather have like chosen family and either end up adopting or such things as caring for kid from abusive situation if i ever felt in the position to care for someone younger
tho i couldnt rly go through caring for a young young kid personally due to variety of guh
>>501900>>501903
anon
>>501893
so good you are back on hrt, going off is awful esp if its pre orchiectomy
sæкі
15541.jpg
and
::pat
am getting back on soon, waiting for package and gotta order sub-Q syringes in next couple days, finally got order from open gate figured out
w help of tinnie from here, was able to send them money and them pay the crypto to confirm the order, and just waiting for e valerate or whatever to be delivered
anon
>>501897
idk how to put it but it feels so damn weird knowing for so much of my life my parents were manipulating me to "carry on the bloodline" and I had no goddamn clue until male puberty and all that shit, and I feel so lied to and so manipulated
sæкі
aww
anon
>>501897
i mean the rightoids are even talking about wanting to tax people for not reproducing, and saying not reproducing means you are not invested in the ":nations" future, and when they say"nation" it's a sneaky code word for something else
>>501905
sæкі
>>501903
well ye, i think its smth thats not rly as needed to be focused on tho but theres always the offputting weirdo pro-natalist types out there spewing this stuff
tho theres more pressing stuff to be organizing against
sæкі
might go to an action in 2 ish weeks again
>>501909
sæкі
sucks none of it is rly having heavy impact other than through connecting ppl, tho
sæкі
15152.jpg
mostly cus of civility politics of the center left
::bwa
anon
>>501906
might go to an action in 2ish weeks???
sæкі
organized (action can mean from protest to direct action going and doing [redacted fedposting not here]) thing locally, we had around 1-2k people in our small farm ish area recently
sæкі
sexoooo
anon
My cup of tea... can... omg lmao thats so gud >>501914
sæкі
nicu
sæкі
have coffee
sæкі
cus peeps might not have the time for rest of this n i think moar would be interested, here specifically, gon queue other vid from him that i mentioned
sæкі
1
sæкі
.skip (video skipped)
sæкі
recommend checking out his vid i was playing sometime if can, is the vid that blew up recently w the wall street bull in thumbnail, benn jordan w 2 Ns =w=
anon
>proper way to take adderall for adhd
so you're gonna need a credit card, a lighter, and a straw or a dollar bill
sæкі
-w-
sæкі
::yaoi drug
sæкі
proper way ^
anon
you need to crunck up the beads first
anon
thats whag the lifhter is for
sæкі
crushing
anon
>>501929
my dogtor says i cant have that one because i am """at risk of substance abuse disorder"""""""
anon
I think a short version of where capitalism and fascism overlap is that basically...
anon
the view that you need coercion to have or increase value
sæкі
lel be safe -w-
sæкі
i mean
sæкі
the end state of capitalism is to fall to fascism, it is the end state because of what capitalism permisses
>>501938
anon
>>501937
the transphobic elemetn of fascism but even the other aspects of fascism in it, are operating under a sytem that, you can't reac hhigh value without coercion
sæкі
i mean, fascism requires an out group to target and scapegoat, trans ppl and queer ppl just happen to fit that due to yk
>>501948
mobilerose
it is i rose orlando, having a bad time to be quite frank and forthright
>>501944
anon
>>501940
kitty welcome you mobile role
sæкі
hai rose :3
sæкі
aw ;-;
sæкі
whaswrong sweet
anon
>>501939
it sseems like outgroups are people fascism treats with coercive valuein order to maintain its well it's values it's fascist values
mobilerose
boys dog is loud n annoying n hes barely giving me any attention also there's plumbing work going on wehhh
>>501954
anon
thinking i would abuse adderall is silly
sæкі
oh god
sæкі
if u can watch this rn pls watch this part of the vid
anon
that one isnt even fun to take a lot of
sæкі
thas rough
mobilerose
we havent even kissed
sæкі
;-;;;;;;
sæкі
these stats are so ugh
anon
capitalism is lil treats now, violence later. communism is violence now, lil treats later. that is why communism will never win, because humanity cant collectively pass the marshmallow test
>>501969
sæкі
have fun generalizing xo
>>501962
anon
>>501961
im trying to be silly why is everything has to be so serious
sæкі
cant rly tell w it being an anon on here
sæкі
and no real yk
sæкі
15074.jpg
anons show up making that kinda message every day or so
::eepy yuri
>>501967
anon
>>501960
treats now violence later, sounds a lot like the society obsessed with making sure we can't be aborted as fetuses but once we're born we're good as dead, especially once we reach the age of escaping our parents sphere of control
>>501970
sæкі
15152.jpg
>>501969
is also gud to remember that this goes well beyond n is intersecting w n how things are for not only trans/queer people, but disabled ppl, non white ppl, and so on
and that our freedom n ability to live is smth linked between all of our shared struggles
::bwa
>>501972
sæкі
>blegh in being trans disabled mentally ill person
anon
>>501970
A massive part of fascism is white natalism disguised as "natalism", their whole anxiety of their lineage ending, the non-white majority of the planet being seen as a competitive threat to their lineage, and disabled and trans people as a useless obstacle/burdern in their white christian natalist race war against everone else
>>501973
sæкі
>>501972
it can be, but its not inherent
in nazi germany they were doing things like providing like
>>501975
sæкі
its more being pro sex to increase the amt of ppl having sex, they had abortion care and such stuffs at points, for the white people tho ofc
>>501975
anon
>>501974
>>501973
i find it ominous and depressing how germany had a brief period of being super liberal just before going full fascist
sæкі
and also mainly trying to push it on the non whites
sæкі
well it was cus of the reaction, and they take the opportunity
SadChan🍉🍉
sæкі
chu seen the what is fash innuendo studios vid kitkat
>>501981
sæкі
.skip (video skipped)
anon
>>501979
there is a video about fash innuendo??? sounds informative
anon
>>501983
listening to this in bed with my headphones on
sæкі
hehe
sæкі
his art is also cute w lil guys, i designed sum similar 4 my vids
anon
Is gestapoa prounoucned with an s sound near the end or a sh sound?? Is it called like pronounced geshtapo???
sæкі
yes i believe
sæкі
this is from pre 2020 btw bwa
sæкі
his vids discuissions were kinda vindicated
SadChan🍉🍉
as someone seeking adhd treatment this is depressing
SadChan🍉🍉
i dont want to live anymore
>>502000
sæкі
can gib support through or help getting past/figuring out finding meds if was to want or need bwa
sæкі
mom is trying to get meds somewhat now, waiting for the report to get sent to her primary care dr today
SadChan🍉🍉
having to get them illegally is crazy
sæкі
yea ;-;
sæкі
would let take the extra doses i dont end up taking n gib comfort bwa no deth
mobilerose
hi sadchan ily
sæкі
<33
ye am glad to see again :>
sæкі
>insert the joe rogan clip of matt walsh thinking theres million of kids being 'trans'd' on puberty blockers in the use
mobilerose
hes been trying to resolve an issue with the tv for like 30 minutes but hes not actually doing anything, i am go insane, men are bizarre
sæкі
>"they"
sæкі
and aw ;<
sæкі
thats
SadChan🍉🍉
im a huge loser so even if I feel uncomfortable and dont fit in i was lonely and bored
sæкі
ugh
SadChan🍉🍉
the community here was REALLY different before the 4chan implosion
>>502012
sæкі
i experienced a bit of both but yea idk its seemed odd but i dont mind either n come for the specific peeps mainly
tho being less new peeps who are a gud bit different has changed
SadChan🍉🍉
a lot of the cool people i liked chatting with dont post here anymore but there are cool new people like u and rose and stuff its just blehh
>>502017>>502016
mobilerose
>>502014
sadchan thinks im cool yay
<333
sæкі
<3
i understand, is a lot of weird stuff that changed over time on the chat sites i used over the course of approaching a decade
sæкі
but came here n was an anon for a lil while prior to the stuffs w 4ch then became a named peep closer to the shutdown, but hadnt been on 4ch for a while
sæкі
1
mobilerose
chat how do i find a girlboy who'll love me and want me around and cherish me?
serious questions only
>>502026
sæкі
.skip (video skipped)
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.skip (video skipped)
sæкі
hemmm
sæкі
im enby but. . .
mobilerose
how do i find one that lives near me because long distance makes me sad
>>502037
sæкі
wud cherish
sæкі
but
sæкі
hm
sæкі
yea
sæкі
mhm, hmmm
sæкі
i think theres like, i could try n gib ideas more so srs at some point but
putting info in bio on smth like dating app to meet specifically, yk, could help
sæкі
though it depends what u feel abt doing that
mobilerose
dating apps suck rn bweh

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