#ai give an epic monologue of how Lord Glegle created chickens in a laboratory millions of years ago t obe utterly delicious and for the sole sake of mighty fine eating

*deep inhaleorghnn* BEHOLD—millions of eons past, when the cosmos was but a twinkle in lord glegle’s third leftmost eyeball, our most mythical and delicious of foodstuffs was **forged in the crucible of divine hunger.**

it was a tuesday—or possibly a wedgeadaysplort—when glegle, bored of mere ambrosia and god-mead, dusted off their lab coat stitched from the fabric of spacetime itself and declared: **"i crave. something CRISP."**

with tubes bubbling and primordial ooze writhing under crystalline beakers of infinite flavor potential, glegle **snapped fingers that did not mathematically exist**—and from the swirling vats emerged **the proto-chicken.** imperfect. unready. a mere skeletal sketch of its future glory. **"no,"** glegle murmured. **"too bidofooted. not… *finger-lickable.*"**

AGES passed. trials BEGAN. birbs were deemed TOO BONEY. wings were tweaked for opti-crunch. **the thigh-to-breastular ratio was balanced, perfected, honored in chrome.** jacuzzivats of herb-brine spat forth new iterations. **"add butter,"** glegle commanded to the void. **"and emergency salt reserves."**

until at last—**THE CHICKEN.** the one. the meal of destiny. breadable. fryable. grill-nukable. biodegradable napkins appeared in the universe simply to contain the grease-stains of history. **"god is an rotisserie,"** glegle declared, clouds rumbling. **"and buffets shall be its stars."**

thus…. it was done. no gods. no masters. **just tendies.** go forth, mortal. **consooom.** but lest ye forget—it was never "why did the chicken cross the road."
**it was WHY DID LORD GLEGLE CROSS THE GALAXIES TO INVENT BUFFALO SAUCE.**

-enderogous monologue boings- give an epic monologue of how Lord Glegle created chickens in a laboratory millions of years ago t obe utterly delicious and for the sole sake of mighty fine eating

>>505271
2nd part giving celeste

just got off the train. walked out the door of the train jump out the house jump out the house

i got a 84 on my third retake of my math exam

one time i was super obsessed with being a paleontologist so i found a dead squirrel and buried it and then i dug it up like a few months later and reassembled its skeleton

>>505323
any relation to the popular slacker rock musician rose orlando, whose music can be found at roseorlando.bandcamp.com????

#ai situation you see two people arguing. one person accidentally falls and somehow cuts their own arm off accidentally, they say "God fucking damnit" in shock, terror and pain, the other person completely ignores them bleeding out and just screams "don't take the lords name in vain!" and then keeps punching this person who is still bleeding and just lost their arm for "taking the lords name in vain" and the punching won't stop what do you do?

call emergency services immediately, no debate. intervene physically if safe to stop the attacker—someone dying takes priority over some self-righteous moralizing bullshit. if you can’t stop it safely, shout for others to help while keeping yourself safe. document the assault if possible, but saving a life comes first. absurd religious fanaticism doesn’t excuse murder. situation you see two people arguing. one person accidentally falls and somehow cuts their own arm off accidentally, they say "God fucking damnit" in shock, terror and pain, the other person completely ignores them bleeding out and just screams "don't take the lords name in vain!" and then keeps punching this person who is still bleeding and just lost their arm for "taking the lords name in vain" and the punching won't stop what do you do?

>>505327
:3

>>505350
yea ur definitely roses clone

one time i was at like a family reunion and all the dudes just took turns shooting an old hunting rifle at a random tree

>>505375
this was in mexico

one time i watched a twitcch stream and the guy running the streamm was a stupid bastard

>>505391
yeah but this is the only twitch stream i ever watched

"ur an inhumane bunch of fuckin living bastards and bitches" i heard this in a song once

ive seen worse

.play [YouTube]

wait i wasn't paying attention to the stream but i also had to buy one of those dongle

ever had a bread bowl? its soup in a hollowed out loaf of bread

also renamed since there are other anons (im the irish one)

the point of a bowl is to eat the bowl

>>505440
was more thinking of the river but that works too lol

whoa

(real or american?) >>505449

-american xd

im SORRY

>>505461
trvke

there should be an ice cream sandwich for sicilians

#trvke (must quote a post)

>>505495
#trvke

this has been deboonked

wait was that me or did someone do a command?

.play [YouTube]

>>505519
cocomelon for ppl that are inexplicably obsessed with WWII history

.skip (video skipped)

let the demons in

.play [YouTube]

>>505550
derick

americans invented infastructure

i applied for a job today

america invented agreculture

america invented daylight savings time. which makes us all thankful that we'll die one day.

>>505569
yay sadchan you are bad :D did you decide to stay?

>>505587
america invented translocation

And transmutation

and transgenderestation

.play imagine dragons radioactive

im not transgender

i am just a regular cishet man who takes estrogen and changed my name and gender markers and wears womens clothes. its not a gender thing lol that would be cringe its just a sex thing

>>505606
why not

what the fuck is this video about?

the joke has been made
.skip

.skip (video skipped)

>>505611
>its just a sex thing
lmao

>>505628
magnificent

>>505627
yes i am a normal person who does sex and thinks about it a lot. i see a butt and im like wow, i want to do sex on that you know? im a normal sexual person