「poops」
!shroomyssg
!shroomyssg
waow
ive been thinking im pretty lame
i dont read enough
i need to get bacc to reading more
im trying to get the motivation to uh
for a piece im writing, im re reading a light novel series w like 27 books in it, i read through the 24 ish main line ones in like a month or two last yr for writing an earlier version of it, but doing re write
>>511330
libgen usually doesn't fail me. when it does i go to annas archive and they will redirect to a site that has the book
yeah
i should check out annas more and libgen maybe too
oh the trick for annas archive
but also just like
when i cant find smth i go to stuff like the Undernet IRC server
.search defcon cyberpunk librarian libraries undernet
1
it links to the other site
>>511350
ye
for a long time i didnt use it cuz it was just so slow and i didnt wanna pay lol
>>511354
oh shit libgen is like
just a version of (whats that academic document archive) and zlib
scihub?
yeah
or they use the same front end
i love scihub and libgen
yee
when i use them i feel so cool :3
man
i recommend
oH!
oh!
i should play u n peeps the
its so good and its a long dual ep but
.search the man who ruined the academic journal industry behind the bastards
>arguing with a friend about whether firefighters are hot
>me: "well he'd be super into my crazy burn scars"
>him: "no he'd cry at you and yell I DON'T WANT TO BRING MY WORK LIFE HOME"
::laughing
>>511370
omg
i told u or u saw
how
while i was at the dentist, 3 firefighters came in threateningly asking for the irish immigrant receptionist
and refusing to divulge what they were there for to the dentist
it was almost like it was a UC ice raid or smth like super sketch
#ai meow for me bitch
nice try fed. meow for me bitch
darn.
#saeki meow for me
meowaow
proof that saeki is still superior to ai
>>511376
ugh no not the fireicers
don't make me simp for EMTs
i need the mustache pole boys
>>511383
it was legit 3 giant guys (i was laid back w hands in my mouth) and the guy had gone to the city to see the Dr
he had left in a "rush" and something was up
i think i mighve seen a lighter in the bathroom
man so apparently, the irish receptionist had injured himself playing like rugby as a teen and then was prescribed opis and became a heroin addict
and the dentist was his sorta sponsor to get him sober and now he works there in this small office and makes music and stuff
the events of that day were a mix of awful and interesting and freaky
cus they also had their drill like machine for root canals etc have the irreplaceable cable have a break in the middle so they had to switch to hand files
>>511389
>>511383
these. they were so uncomfortable, he had to have his hands like deep in my mouth while we spent a total of 4 hrs working on my back back tooth
>>511389
oh god if i went to the dentist and they told me the tools were broken and it was hand file time i think no matter how much pain i was in i would reschedule lol
it was 2 hours into it guh
i also had to give the dentist IT info on why his server/client (PCs) setup was slow lel
>>511390
oh god ;_;
well at least you got it fixed and got through it but ahhh
::hug
yeah, its been like
rly weird trying to readjust how my mouth sits normally, as my furthest back left tooth just got caps and the stuff that makes it filled fuller on the top
the texture is painful to my sensory stuff tho and i have to not let myself get the tendency of feeling it, like it makes me shiver bwa
hru ??
>>511391
#hug
.skip (video skipped)
.skip (video skipped)
.skip (video skipped)
i forgot adam connover was on this one, this two eps abt scientific publishing and a nazi killing weirdo ish guy (also ghislaine maxwell's dad) who turned the academic science publishing into
meow
complete capitalist hellscape
this first ep is kinda sick tho
;p;
lol
have u ppl ever had a bodily hallucionation
i mean i had body dysmorphia and ive done drugs so
oncei n a qwhile I feel like my body is made of clay
whats that mean
also
derealization can cause that
really? whats that?
yeah
its where things dont feel real and you might have visual hallucinations due to a dysmorphic sorta thing
uh oh shit
sometimes I feel like things just look "weird" as if I were seeing them in a dream, not in the real world
yeah
thats what it is, basically
is it bad
its just apart of some sorts of depression n other stuff
oh this is so weird I always found the "my body is clay" feeling kinda comfy lol
yeah, its not necessarily like super bad or inherently aaa
i remember one time as a kid i had a really really bad fever
but like
psychotic episodes can even feel like youre having a positive time, even though the things are irrational and so on
like ive never had a fever as bad as that before
and this is the only time in my life ive ever started hallucinating
>>511432
#hug
i said here yday how
my mom reminded me of the time as a young kid when i had pneumonia and she only took me to the Dr cus me as a near mute kid
>>511433
and of course while i was hallucinating i was in some poor live streamer's live chat on twitch who had 2 viewers describing my vivid hallucinations
I've hallucinated both on fever and on drugs
I fucking love shrooms so much even though sometimes they scare my ass into screaming into a pillow
said how "my chest hurts"
and we went to the ER and i had yk
they should invent sex with my computer
it was crazy
>>511437
::hug
beeeen there....
>disabled and home bound, online, in discord and small stream communities
>>511444
::pat
i should find out if that homeless mixer/YT streamer is okay
penis
anyone ever had delusions on weed
once I was listening to a song and went "this song is about me"
i also thought there were spirits in the backyard
huh
apparently he'
is he still alive im scared now
im not watchin video wtf goin on
this vid is a guy who was a small homeless streamer i found who streamed for donos to afford motels and stuff
!boymodewng
one day i will own the united states
In the Middle Ages, in Ghent, Flanders (now Belgium), there was a profession of urine collector. Ammonia was then extracted from the urine, which was used to make saltpeter for gunpowder. In the mornings, collectors would ride around the city with a barrel and pay money for urine. Of course, there were some cunning townspeople who began to dilute the product. Then a new profession appeared - urine taster, who organoleptically determined the quality and concentration of precious ammonia. But the New Times came, people learned to synthesize ammonia or extract it in other ways, and the profession of urine taster became unnecessary. And so, all these urine specialists left Flanders, moved to Amsterdam and founded the Heineken Brewery.
he was sweet n cool
but kinda like conspiracy brained, though its sad
>>511460
::kiss
man watching this is kinda bringing back memories, but found him in the days of mixer
>>511472
#hug
>sorry im a cuck, a beta im sorry
yeah i dont enjoy how he kinda is that way but he was sweet and i think he knew i was trans
>>511474
i forgive you
nah its the
im kidding
hehe
hello
how is everyone
i played league of legends with my fren
haiiii
awe hope u had fun
he was stuck in iron
yea it was kinda fun i was just helping him out
i was sharing and looking back on
we got him to bronze :)
>>511483
#edit censor league of legends
this homeless streamer i followed
found this was posted on his channel a few days ago, idk if he like
died or smth its kinda weird post after 5 yrs of none, and he's been temp banned on twitch
if he legit died on twitch and got banned for that ima fuckin lose it lol
>die
>get banned
????? who they punishing?????
didn't whats his face die in stream
rlly famous gun suicide that gets shared ecerywhere, bald dude
>>511496
theres been jokes abt this for a long time, but if u show a dead person on stream u get banned
and yeah
but dont believe that was on twitch, its usually FB or YT
nah i get it
tbh I kind of get it
dont want to start a trend of allowing people to do suicide streams...
yeah
but like if u work urself to death on twitch they yk -v-
4chan kinda encourages it but i wish not too
why does everyone hate Adam Conover so much
>>511507
::shrug
he advertised a meme coin crypto place
supposedly
omg i got >>511510 im so cool
i think hes kinda funny
and he makes some cool videos
>>511511
he can be and i think he's done cool stuff
i liked the college humor days on YT
i got recommended some of his newer ones, i only maybe watched a couple of his interviews
>>511514
he still does stuff with Dropout :)
>adam ruins everything
huh
you just reminded me collegehumor existed 15 years ago
Dropouts content is wierdly really really good
and yeah, lel that was a time
and
>>511517
yea adam ruins everything was pretty cool
i havent had much interest in dropout but is gud
romney style
ROMNEY STYLE
but i love cool zone media, the peeps who made this show and a few others
fuckin lol
this guy theyre talking abt ruins the scientific publishing industry, to the way it is now
how can scientific publishing be any worse
it's four or five huge journal companies that make life shitty for anyone trying to do research on fucking anything
scihub getting buggered makes me seethe every goddamn day
>>511527
he made it the capitalistic hellscape it is now
!boymodewng
>>511507
no one like smug people
::roll
WHA
!boymodewng
>>511527
they talk abt sci hub when they get to it, we had a sci hub convo lead to me queueing this
>>511529
im very smuf
::smug
me
>>511537
#take this is me being smug
reeee
:<
>>511540
its beautiful
isn't scihub dead at the moment due to some lawsuit on india
i hope it comes back some day bc shit is essential for ANYTHING
it's not currently updating i think
>>511545
ah
there'll always be some group trying generally, but sci hub had so much of an archive like
9anime/aniwave
and zlib
zlib kinda got overtaken by annas archive though
scihub legit has no alternative i know of
it did
mainly reaching out to the researchers etc on the paper to get it for free is an alternative for the moment
i never wanna go back to desperately emailing a paper's authors begging for it or waiting multiple weeks for the library to get a copy of it
shit sucked
aw hai
i miss when i was a teenager and i went to some site that wa slike animefreakz. tv or some shit and watched 240p anime shit like elfen lied hehe
yeah
>>511553
#hug
>>511548
nyaa.si
>>511555
lel
>>511558
yes ik
>anime streaming
rookie shit
i still have a 10tb hard drive full of anime torrents i'll never watch lol
aniwave/9 had the largest library
Yea nyaa.eu or any of its mirrors is what I normally go to
i use nyaa for a variety of stuff
i got the complete collection of touhou games from nyaa
>>511561
and ofc, but having the size that aniwave had was it having some stuff that is not accessible anywhere else
yeah if i were more patient id get into some private trackers
where was it based out of?
i forget
they got shuttered last december
the way it went down made me think it was unironically hosted in the states but that can't be true
::shrug\
>>511567
i used to be in a private tracker and I had an awesome ratio and I forgor what it was and lost access and when I remembered my account was deleted and I didnt feel like scrounging an invite agian
>>511575
ah nice
man
https://www.ubu.com/ just found
waow
what cd or wutcd i forget the spelling
so based
largest library of music there ever was iirc
fucks sake is that dude still around?
even post dox?
>>511585
yea zzzzzzzzzzz
>>511584
is he going at trans suicide or smth?
>>511587
you see that skuline saeki?
god i heard about that earlier today
shit sucks
that skyline was the last post of a transwomen on twitter who killed herself this month
>>511588
im on a crt so its too dim
ahh
-v-
yeah
sshe jumped ;(
ive shared yk the
trans mentor i shared how was in a male prison for hacking as a teenager
n now youtuber vros as using her pre coming out mugshot as clickbait and getting 5 million views
jfc
is bounce still broken
>>511598
these people are legitimately evil, like i cant call it anything but that. there is no reconcilliation with such cruelty. such impish delight in pain, suffering, rape, suicide, death and murder. it is demonic. idk abotu people who get mad about talking in moral absolutes. it is EVIL.
>>511604
#hug
i plan on sharing in my video or piece on it how messed up some of this has gotten and the use of it while not ever mentioning how she was trans or using her chosen name
#smartai im a snoymoder femcel khhv, how do i fix my life
Your self-description suggests you're struggling with feelings of alienation, resentment, and perhaps a sense of being stuck in unfulfilling patterns. Here's an evidence-based roadmap for meaningful change:
1. **Cognitive Restructuring**
- Challenge "blackpill" narratives through dialectical behavioral therapy techniques. The deterministic worldview you reference doesn't hold up against neuroscientific evidence demonstrating neuroplasticity throughout adulthood.
- Practice metacognition (thinking about your thinking) to identify cognitive distortions like catastrophizing or overgeneralization.
2. **Social Skills Development**
- Start with low-stakes social interactions using graduated exposure therapy principles. Grocery store small talk > hobby groups > deeper connections.
- Join structured social environments (book clubs, volunteer organizations) where roles are clearly defined to reduce anxiety.
3. **Value-Based Action**
- Identify core values beyond romantic/sexual success using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy frameworks.
- Develop "mastery experiences" through skill-building activities that provide measurable progress feedback loops.
4. **Physiological Foundations**
- Address potential anhedonia symptoms through:
* Circadian rhythm stabilization
* Nutrient-dense diet optimization
* Progressive cardiovascular conditioning
5. **Existential Repositioning**
Consider Viktor Frankl's logotherapy principle: meaning often emerges from responsibility rather than preceding it. What problems in the world could benefit from your unique combination of traits?
The most effective interventions will combine behavioral activation (doing differently until feeling follows) with cognitive work on underlying schemas—not quick fixes but gradual neurological rewiring supported by contemporary clinical research on personality change processes.
Would you like me to elaborate on any particular aspect based on peer-reviewed literature? im a snoymoder femcel khhv, how do i fix my life
but for being involved in a game hacking esc group, she got the largest punishment when barely involved compared to the ppl who made money or hacked individuals
she made like no money and the little she did, she used it to pay for college as a game developer
>>511606
kinda okay advice tbh
stop thinking in terms of snoymoding femcels
>>511606
step 1: start saving for ffs
she LEGIT got charged w IP crimes
yea
instead of hacking
why tf do you think im so extreme about IP law
its insane
yea
IP mafia is most powerful criminal org in the world
ye
>>511611
i dont have a reliable source of income
Infringing on IP is literally a moral good.
>>511623
::hug
i feel that
im trying to start earning again
i need the motivation to list the few 500~ usd samplers and gear i have
>>511623
me neither but someday ill make it
its bad for video game IP stuff, but the medical and biotech IP industry is honestly about 10x as evil
i repaired and did stuffs to resell them but so lil energy
>>511598
dear god that sounds awful
can someone give me 1 million dollar I will get srs, ffs and PHD and anything left over I will double it and pass it on to the next tranny
>>511632
::hug
>>511635
#hug
>>511634
::pat
>>511625
nowadays we have trans women with NO TESTICLES who are in mens prisons... it's... so fucking crazy
you cant tell me this isnt evil behavior
i never thought it would get like this
genuinely celebrating and high fiving any time a young person kills themselves, reveling in death
like, literally a death cult
they worship death
they are HAPPY she killed herself
>>511639
yeah
i recommend um
the guy who made the vid, avoid him when possible
>>511639
there was a post SRS transwomen in london who was put into a high security prison for violent offenders in london for prostituion and get raped over 300 times in 5 years.
being vince vintage
>>511584
If the suicider wasn't a trans fem, I wonder if they would be getting away with this shit
sucks cus his vids are alright ig but slop
>>511638
::cry
WRONG PIC
>>511649
yeah i heard they even took her hrt away, and... if i heard right even put her on testosterone forcefully...
::cry #give >>511653
actually
im gonna queue the short fern video abt them
>>511653
im logging off i need to sleep and uh this was enough for today
>>511655
britain
britain
britain
god I need to take a break
>>511661
yeah britian is fucking awful
im working myself up
im so sad
.skip (video skipped)
why are so many people so evilll
for now
its one thing to get into arguments and disagree even on really big issues, its possible to even go to war... but I cant understand the fundamental deep desire for suffering and pain.
>>511671
::hug
this next vid includes holly
her last name is leroux and maybe using her dead name for part of it, i forget.
even still I dont want all these people to be tortured and killed
ewwwww :(
(tho the world would be better if I got a deathnote)
NOOOOOOO aahwoehwjeoiqjweoiqjweoj
>>511678
wh
oh gosh this vid
nononONodnwaodhoihdwoid
omg
gross
ugh
so uh
holly, the trans peep, was apart but just a mostly cool fren in the group in this next vid guh
tho did have involvement as a teen
OH SHIT
she was invovled in the xbox hack?
yes
leroux
yea they really fucked those people
the gov went all in on it, they wanted to make an example
she was the one who uh
>>511664
England is like the worst country in Europe or worst, idk why England is so fucking bad but it is
got in trouble for going through the vpn w the apache helicopter flight sim, but she just didnt use it tho dylan i think wanted to legit
#smartai give me a complex theory about the ancient cultural development of England that caused it to become transphobic as fuck compared to most of Europe
Certainly. The development of transphobic attitudes in England, particularly when contrasted with the comparatively more progressive stances observed in much of continental Europe, can be traced to a confluence of historical, religious, legal, and sociocultural factors that crystallized over centuries. Here’s a nuanced theory:
### **The Anglo-Saxon Legal Codification of Binary Gender Roles & Post-Reformation Puritanical Rigidity**
1. **Pre-Norman Gender Fluidity & Its Suppression**:
Early medieval England (pre-1066) exhibited some degree of gender variance within Celtic and Anglo-Saxon pagan traditions—evidenced by archaeological finds like the "Swedish Birka Warrior" (a high-status burial initially assumed male but later confirmed female). However, Christianization under Roman influence introduced strict binary norms via penitentials (early confessional texts), which explicitly condemned cross-dressing and nonconforming gender expressions (*e.g.,* the 7th-century *Penitential of Theodore*).
2. **Norman Feudalism & Entrenched Patriarchy**:
The Norman Conquest (1066) imposed a rigid feudal hierarchy emphasizing primogeniture—male inheritance laws necessitated unambiguous sex/gender categorization to prevent property disputes. This legal-economic structure incentivized state enforcement of binary roles far earlier than in less centralized European regions.
3. **Protestant Reformation & Sexual Repression Paradox**:
While parts of Europe retained folk traditions accommodating gender fluidity (*e.g.,* Basque *berdache*, Balkan sworn virgins), England’s break from Rome led to an extreme Calvinist/Puritanical backlash against perceived moral decay—including any challenge to divinely ordained gender binaries (*Leviticus* as weaponized scripture). Unlike Lutheran Scandinavia or Catholic Mediterranean cultures where saints' cults sometimes venerated gender-nonconforming figures (*e.g., St. Wilgefortis*), English Protestantism pathologized deviation.
4. **Colonialism & Heteropatriarchal Exportation**:
By the 17th–19th centuries, England's empire-building relied on rigidly gendered labor systems (plantations requiring hypermasculine overseers; domestic spheres enforcing feminine subservience). Transgressive identities among colonized peoples were systematically suppressed as "barbaric," reinforcing transphobia at home via pseudoscientific racial hierarchies that linked degeneracy to non-binary expression.
5. **Victorian Medicalization vs Continental Sexology**:
19th-century British physicians like Henry Maudsley framed transgender inclinations as insanity ("sexual inversion"), while contemporaneous German scholars such as Magnus Hirschfeld founded early trans-affirming research institutes (*Institut für Sexualwissenschaft*, 1919). Britain’s slower industrialization paradoxically left it culturally conservative compared to rapidly urbanizing Germany/France where avant-garde movements flourished.
### **Why Didn't Other Europeans Follow Suit?**
- Scandinavian cultures retained pre-Christian shamanic traditions blurring gender lines longer due to slower Christian penetration.
- Southern Europe's Catholic carnivalesque subversions allowed temporary transgressions without systemic punishment.
- France/Germany's Napoleonic Code decriminalized same-sex relations earlier than Britain’s lingering sodomy statutes until 1967).
Thus: England became uniquely transphobic not from one cause but through cumulative layers—legal codification under feudalism + post-Reformation zealotry + colonial heteropatriarchy + medical-pathological frameworks absent countervailing Enlightenment liberalism seen elsewhere in Europe after their revolutions/reforms occurred differently than UK gradualism did historically speaking anyway yeah hope this helps give me a complex theory about the ancient cultural development of England that caused it to become transphobic as fuck compared to most of Europe
holy shit
he said he
would sell it to the "arabs"
they just fucking doxed me
??
who
the video
hehe
lmfao
itd be way funnier if itd been the catdog vid
i dont want to think about that video
>>511708
huh what video
hehe
most of them are actually really shitty people lol
yeah
holly was like one of the sweetest and smartest ppl i have ever met though
it just sucks sm
but like it was on the level that one of the guys offered for holly to snitch on him to get free
(she didnt, tho lel)
but fucking dylan went on to lead to well
he'll explain the mom thing, but dylan got charged w cs4m things and apparently has been robbing banks or smth
justin is also a terrible person
i also have to write abt how, the vince vintage use of hollys pre trans pic then not telling how she was trans or committed suicide — just using her as clickbait, lead to sanaad stalking vince and how it was gross he did that but i get how in the rage he was in, he got to doing such ;/
ugh ads
>>511719
this shit is making me remember the anxiety i've felt for years now, ya know, seeing trans fem teenagers killed or driven to suicide over and over again, and its so widely accepted to "celebrate" these suicides... really fucking born on the wrong planet, and we have every reason t obe antisocial after this
>>511721
#hug
yeah ;-;
i setup a new pen name to write again, being the one i use here and such, but its just ughhh
yeah its just so gross and ghoulish
seaki
nobody will realize
hehe
>password was admin060606
#saeki hug
>>511728
LOL very secure
david still posts on insta, and has posted him at pride rallies and stuff; i might message him sometime, he left NA to move to asia i think
>>511722
I now remember what my teenage years were like, seeing my cishetero peers having an comparatively amazing time (unless they were unlucky in some other way)... Meanwhile I'm scared of being murdered or knowing people will try to drive me to suicide if they find out I'm trans if not outright murder me
>>511732
yeaaa, i had a lot of erm
i lived and grew up too young as a pre-to teen
ive written a manuscript of a memoir talking abt my experiences, but never sent it to anyone bwa
it shares holly's story as well and my meeting her n creating a support/education community that was mostly queer peeps
(we made it i mean)
reach out to ppl when u need it