「poops」
!shroomyssg
!shroomyssg
if gon go bed isoke, but have vid id recommend and can queue here to play if gon be around for a lil on semi-related subject
>>501843
kitty is interested in what saeki has 2 share... she thinks she wants the comfort of the blankies too
can show part or the start of n then let decide if wan end up watching on ur own laters, or such
>>501844
#hug
>>501846
#hug
okey, lemme queue
writing draft for message i have to send to the old friend i mentioned a couple times having msged me n have ability to play smth in bg
oh yea, hasan did actually watch this, which is rly funny
god the ppl in chat making fun of him for thinking he's a (US) libertarian is funni
>>501848
its so damn crazy, beingh forced through something as extreme and radical as male puberty, then online mobs of transphobes keep using words like "natural"
.search benn jordan capitalism is dying
1
>>501850
::pat
is mostly being closed off from the idea that we change our bodies and how they function all the time and that tradionalism and what is natural is what is right,
like letting millions die from a disease n such
>>501853
*Purr puurr ppuurrrrrss*
>>501854
I just saeki, it feels like, someone is intentionally TRYING to make male puberty unavoidable, and TRYING to make transition more expensive than it has to be, and it's like they're hoping they can make you too poor t obe able to transition, and also like you know, by paying certain gender conforming straight men lots of money at the same time it feels very deliberate
ye
if they make people have to go through such, they can well
more dead trans people so they dont have to deal with us
and also enforcing the system of bioessentialism allows them to keep tradition of how things are, and not have to allow change from the status quo beyond to the right
::bwa
>>501860
>>501861
they really been jumping into the anti-gender mindset, and by that i mean in the most transphobic way possible
>>501862
#hug
anti-gender as i nyou know "sex not gender" and umm umm "Sex is super important" and "gender is ideology and bad"
i forget the exact term but theres also the whole thing thats the flip side that focuses on abolishing gender as the construct we see it as, and not allow for this kind of enforcement of the concept of it we have now
in antiquity and otherwise, gender wasnt conceptualized how we do, along with how pink and blue were flipped to be pink for boys and blue for girls 120 yrs ago
>>501863
#hug
even if not interested in his music production stuff, recommend this peeps vids as the analysis he's done of stuff is quite gud,
was a patron of his for maybe a couple yrs and found out he used to be a jazz teacher at the music school my dad works for
>>501867
:: kitty
he also has a great breakdown of the whole ADHD medication situation, him getting diagnosed in past yr and how manufactured scarcity due to the DEA & pharma corps, we have the need for ppl to call tens of pharmacies to find medication, or pay services 50~ usd a month to call said pharmacies for you, or buy them illegally (he def tooootally doesnt order some adderall off onion site in vid, totally doesnt)
>>501868
o wow thats really interesting
>91% tax on the richest at point in the US' best period bazed
"""best point"""*
>>501872
>>501876
Also saekie I swear cissoid puberty feels like a pipeline... IE parents control you until you are 18 at all times->rightoids against cissexual puberty prevention->most parents are transphobic->most social environments are transphobic->So by default you start out with zero chance for any freedom on day one in a body hit by the wrong puberty..
and yea, it can feel like that but
imo, you can be as free as you allow urself (with the caveat that ppl can control you and be stuck due to family, but) with help of things like the internet and resources online creating the ability, if u reach out to get support/learn, to buy the medications for HRT — from puberty blockers to E, to T even with more effort — and learn how to safely do them while being 'boymode' as a teen or such
but doing so as a kid is hard, and w/o institutional, or community, support in most places here, the peeps who need it most and will be controlled or lacking their base needs being met, theyll be left to face such stuffs until resources are provided
people in their local communities though are doing things like graffiti and flyer posting ways to reach them and get HRT directly, locally
tho its still a patch fix because of how we have so lil support getting these medicines through traditional means
::bwa
>>501879
my parents controlled my money, and monitered everything I did when I lived with them, even into like most of my 20s, so it... it very much felt like a pipeline to me... The well born disability+transphobic parents+not allowed to leave them at 18 pipeline, and now in the "society became more transphobic" part
>>501880
::pat
yeah, im stuck — trapped even in ways, where i am w family & trying to escape again
bc of my dad sticking to controlling my money & not allowing me to get more, i had to go off HRT injections for 1-2 yrs following 2.5~ yrs on them
so is a serious issue but w support structures/systems n peeps, can be relieved largely, even if only able to do smth like access the net, even ver lil
>>501881
>>501882
I know rightoids were also talking about that word... The world "value", like rightoids feel like traditional gender stuff in the cissoid definition, they feel like it's been "devalued", and basically, they think freedom from fascist gendered structures "devalues" what they want, so basically, far rightoids feel like transphobia is "valuable"
and yeah, theres a big idea surrounding how men have more value than women (even if unconscious, its also in liberal types), and this allows them to view a amab transitioning as being losing value,
the structure allows them to enforce stuff like we see in the UK's system, particularly notable up until recently when the whole illegal lesbians stuff fully occurred
>>501884
saeki do you think ost of the stuff about "value" is related to male reproductive capacity being higher in like cisgender people, and that these people are obsessed with contiuing lineage and family name and stuff???
its, in part, due to them believing that men need to be creating children and women having them, and the idea that the bloodline will be lost if the amab transitions and such
its a large mix of social constructs and dynamics, but in the US/+west, its including that
im so glad im the single child and will end this bloodline!!
hehe
gang gang
>>501889
me too, this bloodline deserves to die for giving me a body I didn't consent to and treating me so damn badly
monotherapy made me yk
but cus i lost my hrt im able to now again, apparently
other than the bodyhorror, its good that i can confirm and be like yea ofc on the research theyre only finally doing now abt trans women going off hrt being able to have kids, and not being fucked just cus they went on it
>>501893
imagine spawning 2 little saekis in this world......
>>501888
a lot of bloodline extinction anxiety it's pretty damn crazy and it seems nobody can talk them out of it
its a whole thing, but in my case id much much rather have like chosen family and either end up adopting or such things as caring for kid from abusive situation if i ever felt in the position to care for someone younger
tho i couldnt rly go through caring for a young young kid personally due to variety of guh
>>501893
so good you are back on hrt, going off is awful esp if its pre orchiectomy
and
::pat
am getting back on soon, waiting for package and gotta order sub-Q syringes in next couple days, finally got order from open gate figured out
w help of tinnie from here, was able to send them money and them pay the crypto to confirm the order, and just waiting for e valerate or whatever to be delivered
>>501897
idk how to put it but it feels so damn weird knowing for so much of my life my parents were manipulating me to "carry on the bloodline" and I had no goddamn clue until male puberty and all that shit, and I feel so lied to and so manipulated
i thinmk im dehyrdrated
aww
>>501897
i mean the rightoids are even talking about wanting to tax people for not reproducing, and saying not reproducing means you are not invested in the ":nations" future, and when they say"nation" it's a sneaky code word for something else
>>501903
well ye, i think its smth thats not rly as needed to be focused on tho but theres always the offputting weirdo pro-natalist types out there spewing this stuff
tho theres more pressing stuff to be organizing against
might go to an action in 2 ish weeks again
sucks none of it is rly having heavy impact other than through connecting ppl, tho
>>501906
might go to an action in 2ish weeks???
organized (action can mean from protest to direct action going and doing [redacted fedposting not here]) thing locally, we had around 1-2k people in our small farm ish area recently
sexo with my computer
sexoooo
My cup of tea... can... omg lmao thats so gud >>501914
nicu
have coffee
cus peeps might not have the time for rest of this n i think moar would be interested, here specifically, gon queue other vid from him that i mentioned
.search benn jordan adhd medication
1
.skip (video skipped)
recommend checking out his vid i was playing sometime if can, is the vid that blew up recently w the wall street bull in thumbnail, benn jordan w 2 Ns =w=
>proper way to take adderall for adhd
so you're gonna need a credit card, a lighter, and a straw or a dollar bill
-w-
::yaoi drug
proper way ^
you need to crunck up the beads first
thats whag the lifhter is for
crushing
>>501929
my dogtor says i cant have that one because i am """at risk of substance abuse disorder"""""""
I think a short version of where capitalism and fascism overlap is that basically...
the view that you need coercion to have or increase value
lel be safe -w-
i mean
the end state of capitalism is to fall to fascism, it is the end state because of what capitalism permisses
>>501937
the transphobic elemetn of fascism but even the other aspects of fascism in it, are operating under a sytem that, you can't reac hhigh value without coercion
i mean, fascism requires an out group to target and scapegoat, trans ppl and queer ppl just happen to fit that due to yk
hello all
it is i rose orlando, having a bad time to be quite frank and forthright
>>501940
kitty welcome you mobile role
hai rose :3
>>501941
what happenin friend
aw ;-;
whaswrong sweet
>>501939
it sseems like outgroups are people fascism treats with coercive valuein order to maintain its well it's values it's fascist values
boys dog is loud n annoying n hes barely giving me any attention also there's plumbing work going on wehhh
thinking i would abuse adderall is silly
oh god
if u can watch this rn pls watch this part of the vid
that one isnt even fun to take a lot of
>>501949
, ;;;;
thas rough
we havent even kissed
;-;;;;;;
these stats are so ugh
capitalism is lil treats now, violence later. communism is violence now, lil treats later. that is why communism will never win, because humanity cant collectively pass the marshmallow test
have fun generalizing xo
>>501961
im trying to be silly why is everything has to be so serious
cant rly tell w it being an anon on here
and no real yk
>>501966
:: kitty
>>501960
treats now violence later, sounds a lot like the society obsessed with making sure we can't be aborted as fetuses but once we're born we're good as dead, especially once we reach the age of escaping our parents sphere of control
>>501969
is also gud to remember that this goes well beyond n is intersecting w n how things are for not only trans/queer people, but disabled ppl, non white ppl, and so on
and that our freedom n ability to live is smth linked between all of our shared struggles
::bwa
>blegh in being trans disabled mentally ill person
>>501970
A massive part of fascism is white natalism disguised as "natalism", their whole anxiety of their lineage ending, the non-white majority of the planet being seen as a competitive threat to their lineage, and disabled and trans people as a useless obstacle/burdern in their white christian natalist race war against everone else
>>501972
it can be, but its not inherent
in nazi germany they were doing things like providing like
its more being pro sex to increase the amt of ppl having sex, they had abortion care and such stuffs at points, for the white people tho ofc
and also mainly trying to push it on the non whites
well it was cus of the reaction, and they take the opportunity
chu seen the what is fash innuendo studios vid kitkat
.skip (video skipped)
>>501979
there is a video about fash innuendo??? sounds informative
.search white fascism innuendo studios
1
>>501983
listening to this in bed with my headphones on
hehe
his art is also cute w lil guys, i designed sum similar 4 my vids
Is gestapoa prounoucned with an s sound near the end or a sh sound?? Is it called like pronounced geshtapo???
yes i believe
this is from pre 2020 btw bwa
his vids discuissions were kinda vindicated
as someone seeking adhd treatment this is depressing
i dont want to live anymore
can gib support through or help getting past/figuring out finding meds if was to want or need bwa
mom is trying to get meds somewhat now, waiting for the report to get sent to her primary care dr today
having to get them illegally is crazy
yea ;-;
>>501994
#hug
would let take the extra doses i dont end up taking n gib comfort bwa no deth
hi sadchan ily
<33
ye am glad to see again :>
>insert the joe rogan clip of matt walsh thinking theres million of kids being 'trans'd' on puberty blockers in the use
hes been trying to resolve an issue with the tv for like 30 minutes but hes not actually doing anything, i am go insane, men are bizarre
>"they"
and aw ;<
thats
im a huge loser so even if I feel uncomfortable and dont fit in i was lonely and bored
ugh
the community here was REALLY different before the 4chan implosion
>>502011
sorry :(
i experienced a bit of both but yea idk its seemed odd but i dont mind either n come for the specific peeps mainly
tho being less new peeps who are a gud bit different has changed
a lot of the cool people i liked chatting with dont post here anymore but there are cool new people like u and rose and stuff its just blehh
>>502014
#hug
>>502014
sadchan thinks im cool yay
<333
<3
i understand, is a lot of weird stuff that changed over time on the chat sites i used over the course of approaching a decade
but came here n was an anon for a lil while prior to the stuffs w 4ch then became a named peep closer to the shutdown, but hadnt been on 4ch for a while
.search innuendo studios featuring philosophy tube
1
chat how do i find a girlboy who'll love me and want me around and cherish me?
serious questions only
.skip (video skipped)
.skip (video skipped)
>>502022
nmmmm
hemmm
im enby but. . .
how do i find one that lives near me because long distance makes me sad
wud cherish
but
hm
yea
kisses u tho mwah
>>502031
#hug
>>502036
#kiss
mhm, hmmm
i think theres like, i could try n gib ideas more so srs at some point but
putting info in bio on smth like dating app to meet specifically, yk, could help
though it depends what u feel abt doing that
dating apps suck rn bweh
yeah
finding local groups or going to meetups like i imagine some of the protests there rn could help meet peeps, maybe
is gud way to meet ppl who are cooler than the more normal queer meetups imo
it will be easier when i move ig
yeah
awruuf :(
wruff ;<
but sry chu didnt even get to kis peep ;-; thats like
ughhh
wan gib care n affection when peeps needed
finishing drafting a message to send to the friend i used to talk to near daily 6 months ago and just got back into contact with, via spacehey
gon try and see if they and peeps i knew in that chatroom can add me on the new discy
#ai why is everyone trying to murder me
nice try fed. why is everyone trying to murder me
#smartai why is everyone trying to murder me
Your question suggests significant distress, and I want to address it with both clinical precision and compassionate concern. If you're experiencing a pervasive belief that others intend to harm you (a phenomenon known as *persecutory ideation* or, in severe cases, *paranoid delusion*), this could indicate several possible psychological or neurological conditions—from acute stress disorders to schizophrenia spectrum illnesses.
However, before pathologizing your experience: let’s engage in Bayesian reasoning. What’s the prior probability that "everyone" is genuinely conspiring to murder you? Statistically speaking, coordinated homicidal intent across an entire social group is extraordinarily rare outside of highly specific contexts (e.g., being a political dissident under totalitarian regimes). The human brain, though, has evolved hypersensitive threat-detection systems; when these malfunction—due to neurotransmitter imbalances (e.g., dopamine hyperactivity in the mesolimbic pathway), trauma-induced hypervigilance, or sleep deprivation—they can generate false positives of existential danger.
If we rule out literal conspiracies through Occam's razor (*the simplest explanation is most likely correct*), then neuropsychiatric explanations become parsimonious. Consider:
1. **Psychotic Disorders**: Delusions of persecution are hallmark symptoms.
2. **Substance-Induced Paranoia**: Stimulants like methamphetamine or even excessive caffeine can trigger transient paranoia.
3. **Social Anxiety Hyperfocus**: Extreme self-consciousness might distort perceptions of others' intentions via confirmation bias.
4. **Reality Testing Deficits**: An inability to distinguish internal fears from external reality.
I strongly recommend immediate consultation with a psychiatrist for differential diagnosis and potential cognitive-behavioral interventions if appropriate because untreated persecutory ideation correlates negatively with quality-of-life metrics over time due ultimately perhaps partially mediated by allostatic load mechanisms accumulating from chronic amygdalar hyperactivity... but also because no one should have endure feeling this way without professional support available now more than ever given advances psychopharmacology etcetera ad infinitum really when think about how far we've come since lobotomies were state-of-the-art treatment options back mid-20th century which seems almost barbaric retrospectively doesn't it?
Would discussing strategies for grounding techniques help while arranging clinical evaluation? The key here epistemic humility acknowledging limits current knowledge while acting decisively based best available evidence which points toward needing expert assessment posthaste frankly speaking okay yes indeed certainly so forthwith accordingly et cetera thus therefore hence ergo ipso facto QED vis-à-vis concordantly obviously manifestly clearly apparent patently indubitably incontrovertibly unequivocally unmistakably undeniably irrefutably...
But mainly: please seek help today.* why is everyone trying to murder me
>>502059
>The key here epistemic humility acknowledging limits current knowledge while acting decisively based best available evidence which points toward needing expert assessment posthaste frankly speaking okay yes indeed certainly so forthwith accordingly et cetera thus therefore hence ergo ipso facto QED vis-à-vis concordantly obviously manifestly clearly apparent patently indubitably incontrovertibly unequivocally unmistakably undeniably irrefutably...
#this (bird up) #somuchthis (+1)
oh god guhhhh
i messaged the old friend
i sent them my discord info too....
i want adhd meds SO badddddd i want to try it I want to see if I can be normalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
awww ;_;
::hug
>>502070
>7 month old video
literal programming
real
i lovee this youtuberrr
i wants katsuuuuuuuu
KATSUUUUUUUU
CHICKENNN >:]
CHIECKEN KATSUUUUUUUUUU
maybe I shoudl walk down to the sushi bar a few blocks from me and get a chicken katsu lunch special to day, though it probably wont be as good as that..
awww
i wish i had anything near me again ;-;
i need to get my head squished by a giant mommy snake
squimsh
on the way home now uweh
woo, i hope u can unwind
gonma get lunch on the way home
BUT ALSO it is RAINING gahhh
itd be fine if i brought a coat but i didnae
where are the half naked trans polycules roaming the streets?
there they are
>>502100
thats what im asking
-v-
.seek 20:00
watching another episode of the last of us was a mistake
its soooooooooo bad
i need caffeine
finished off the coffee i has here
had
or.....
would gib coffee when i make it
gosh i somehow got my keyboard autorepeat messed up, scroll lock is off like
ughhh
tes
>>502125
#hug
!shroomyssg
im catching myself not thinking rationally and it is a bit concerning
smth up? :<
!shroomyssg
i am just psychotic :^p
recognizing it when its happening n trying to consciously think n internalize them as being irrational is a gud step
::pat
!shroomyssg
>>502129
i guess, it just sucks when i start to verbalize it. i guess teetering the line between irony and sincerity has backfired as a social experiment since im having trouble realizing which is actual subconscious feelings
errr yea can be unhelpful to be such, but also verbalizing to self that you recognize them nows can also maybeh help
::bwa
but sry its being ugh :'c
!shroomyssg
>>502131
i mean, it's hard not to. you can't just keep every irrational thought pent in without eventually exploding.
well ye i mean
addressing them >-> not bottling thoughts
!shroomyssg
my brain just automatically thinks like this.
deconstructing
!shroomyssg
>>502137
how long would that last
well, it can be a bit tough at first but when at my worst its been a major help & step towards improving your base thoughts internally to being smth more
!shroomyssg
dawg im talking about this on my public trip. im cooked
but it depends, can be not so long n just a good habit to keep for when in tough times
.search action button doom review
1
also, generally, journalling and stream of consciousness writing them/feels helps a lot often times and do fully recommend even small(er) amts of that to help, main thing that likely improved mine, at points
soaked rn weh
hello all
bwaaaa
wan help dry off
going our in rain w sweets sounds so cozy rn
>>502147
soaked guh
haiii
>>502151
that would be but also u gotta dry me off with a towel after mhmhm
yus
at the trainstation now, didnt have to pay to get in cos i had an open return from last month that still works
ooo
yayyyy
thasgud
>jumping the turnstyles w qts
gonna go to the shops after and get lunch and also a hot chocolate cos i rlly wanted one
>>502157
yay
^^
is it fair to break up with someone cos their dogs turbo annoying ??
ur early on so w him i dont think u should have 2 put through a lot if it rly made uncomfy
mb think or sit on it for day or howevs long
but also do i wanna be with someone who wont grope me when we're sleeping next to each other ?? much to think about
ughhh
yea ;-;
sigh, i-
but yes, do wh u need to be comfy n outta there if its getting like ugh in that way
been listening to cheerleader on loop, kinda wish the rest of the album sounded like this
last guy i dated was
i was at my worst phase of CPTSD triggers and he after being unable to be sexual, personally, cus of that and E killing sex drive, started getting super physical while trying to sleep n just
awful
do whachu need to be w someone ur comfy w, and this early on having that (not like saying is like my thing or stuffs) could become smth more ugh down the line
n figuring out what u both are comfortable w, if not
idk im gonna sleep round a girls next week so maybe i'll see how that goes
mhmhm
aww
i hope its nice c:
n take care u need in meantime, hope train ride is comfy n lets u get time to dry off a lil, or can in a while once out of it
i guess it wouldnt be breaking up cos we arent like together or whatever
eh train is 8 mins n then another like 40 min walk lmao
yeah
oh wll
d'awww
>"american mcgees a bozo"
hey
is rose going by train to meet a girl???
saeki :3
is there a tag that makes her appear
:'3
hell yeah
uh oh there's a groomer in my discord dms
(JOKE :3)
- w -
*beats up with bat (due to love)*
>>502194
no i am going home cos im sad
awr
why sad?
n also
the plumber is taking out they toilet wtf
i went over to boys cos he said he was home alone
was nae home alone and also his dogs annoying as fuck n also he didnt pay any attention to me
so i am sad
aw the ignoring part is just hmph :c
>>502216
#hug
many ppl would kill to have a rose orlando in their home
i assume idk
deserve all the care n
giving n getting rose orlando attention
waow the real rose orlando waow
on train now
woo
need to brush my hair when i get home
, ;o
might shower b4 the dentist later, have had hair up n would/will be too smooth, pre oily, if i dont
(pre being oily not pretty.. i mean)
>>502215
rip
maybe he didn't want to seem like he cares too much
>>502230
if theyre not obsessed with me i don't want it
i'd be everywhere where you were like a puppy
arf
awa
awroo
>>502236
why she
her shirt. besbian.
hehe
::cat girl pat
omg
catgirl x puppygirl
and they make love